I can't get this family out of my mind. This family is under an unbelievable amount of strain.
Pray they stay strong and focused.
Pray they don't let their anger take over their senses and that they maintain a united front.
Pray they lean on each other and the police as much as possible.
Pray they don't let the speculators get to them. Those people don't have a clue as to what this family is going through.
Pray they find the S. O. B. who has taken this little girl. Whether the person be male of female to inflict this kind of pain on a child and her family he/she has to be evil. Sadly it could be more than one person.
Deep breath.
I must be healing. For a long time after we lost Denise I wasn't able to let other people's pain in. I was oblivious to the world around me. I'm still pretty oblivious but apparently not as oblivious as I was. I couldn't handle any more additional pain at the time.
Now, I just get so angry at people. I wasn't able to follow the Caylee Anthony story while Caylee was missing. I couldn't wrap my mind around it. I wasn't angry then. I was oblivious and numb. When people were speculating about the mother Casey, I blocked it out and stayed away from it. That story was so bazaar. Still is. I could feel myself getting angry with that family and that was wrong. We still don't know the whole story and until we do, I'm going to continue to do my best to not judge them. I simply don't understand them. It's so so terrible what they are going through.
I'm just heartbroken for the Cummings family. Their lives (they probably don't realize it yet) are now changed irrevocably forever.
Major sigh. It just saddens me.
Dear Denise, if Haleigh is with you, please rock her! But then if she's up there, you probably already are. Miss you, Denise.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Tampa Bay Rays and Evan Longoria
On a lighter note! Mark and I were at Crackers last night. Mark has been scoping out Crackers for ballplayers ever since they made it to town. For those of you who don't know the Tampa Bay [s]Devil[/s] Rays are now spring training in Charlotte County. They razed the old Texas Rangers spring training stadium and built a new one. We live not more than 10 minutes away. It's very exciting to us.
There's not a whole lot to do in Port Charlotte for these young men. We're on the sleepy side of Florida. I feel bad for them. It's so bad that last night at the stadium they saw a wild pig and spent a couple hours chasing it and trying to hunt it down. They say he was an 800 lb pig. Who knows? I said to Mark "next they'll be saying it's albino!" It's that sleepy over here. At least over on the East coast you have Miami and stuff happening at night. Over here it's wild pig hunting! It's beautiful over here but there's not much going on to interest young men, IMO. Not this far south of Tampa.
Mark usually goes by himself but last night he took me to Crackers for a beer. He's getting ready to go away with Nathan to CA for a 9-1-1 convention/conference thing. We don't get out much because of money and, of course, because we're just not into partying right now. But, because he's going away and because I'll miss him, last night we went out cruising for ball players.
Mark and I always sit at the bar wherever we go. If there are no bar stools available, we leave and go somewhere else.
Anyhow! Evan Longoria was sitting 3 empty bar stools away from Mark (yeah, 4 stools from me but Mark refused to switch stools, LOL! Trust me, I suggested it). I'm no longer a young girl but my heart still pitter patters when I see a major league baseball player. My all time hero is Brooks Robinson.
Anyhow, Mark and I believe (as do many people) that Evan Longoria will make it to Cooperstown one day.
Mr Longoria was gracious enough to sign the boys pictures.........
Thank you Mr Longoria!
There's not a whole lot to do in Port Charlotte for these young men. We're on the sleepy side of Florida. I feel bad for them. It's so bad that last night at the stadium they saw a wild pig and spent a couple hours chasing it and trying to hunt it down. They say he was an 800 lb pig. Who knows? I said to Mark "next they'll be saying it's albino!" It's that sleepy over here. At least over on the East coast you have Miami and stuff happening at night. Over here it's wild pig hunting! It's beautiful over here but there's not much going on to interest young men, IMO. Not this far south of Tampa.
Mark usually goes by himself but last night he took me to Crackers for a beer. He's getting ready to go away with Nathan to CA for a 9-1-1 convention/conference thing. We don't get out much because of money and, of course, because we're just not into partying right now. But, because he's going away and because I'll miss him, last night we went out cruising for ball players.
Mark and I always sit at the bar wherever we go. If there are no bar stools available, we leave and go somewhere else.
Anyhow! Evan Longoria was sitting 3 empty bar stools away from Mark (yeah, 4 stools from me but Mark refused to switch stools, LOL! Trust me, I suggested it). I'm no longer a young girl but my heart still pitter patters when I see a major league baseball player. My all time hero is Brooks Robinson.
Anyhow, Mark and I believe (as do many people) that Evan Longoria will make it to Cooperstown one day.
Mr Longoria was gracious enough to sign the boys pictures.........
Thank you Mr Longoria!
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Rhymes and Reasons
I posted this song a few weeks ago and feel an uncanny need to post it again. I realize that with Haleigh Cummings still missing maybe there's a need to share this.
Babies and children are so very beautiful. And they are our future!
I love this song. It's beautiful in it's simplicity.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rPpRyjTP0a0&feature=related
So you speak to me of sadness
And the coming of the winter
Fear that is within you now
It seems to never end
And the dreams that have escaped you
And the hope that youve forgotten
You tell me that you need me now
You want to be my friend
And you wonder where were going
Wheres the rhyme and wheres the reason
And its you cannot accept
It is here we must begin
To seek the wisdom of the children
And the graceful way of flowers in the wind
For the children and the flowers
Are my sisters and my brothers
Their laughter and their loveliness
Could clear a cloudy day
Like the music of the mountains
And the colours of the rainbow
Theyre a promise of the future
And a blessing for today
Though the cities start to crumble
And the towers fall around us
The sun is slowly fading
And its colder than the sea
It is written from the desert
To the mountains they shall lead us
By the hand and by the heart
They will comfort you and me
In their innocence and trusting
They will teach us to be free
For the children and the flowers
Are my sisters and my brothers
Their laughter and their loveliness
Could clear a cloudy day
And the song that I am singing
Is a prayer to non believers
Come and stand beside us
We can find a better way
Words and music by john denver
Babies and children are so very beautiful. And they are our future!
I love this song. It's beautiful in it's simplicity.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rPpRyjTP0a0&feature=related
So you speak to me of sadness
And the coming of the winter
Fear that is within you now
It seems to never end
And the dreams that have escaped you
And the hope that youve forgotten
You tell me that you need me now
You want to be my friend
And you wonder where were going
Wheres the rhyme and wheres the reason
And its you cannot accept
It is here we must begin
To seek the wisdom of the children
And the graceful way of flowers in the wind
For the children and the flowers
Are my sisters and my brothers
Their laughter and their loveliness
Could clear a cloudy day
Like the music of the mountains
And the colours of the rainbow
Theyre a promise of the future
And a blessing for today
Though the cities start to crumble
And the towers fall around us
The sun is slowly fading
And its colder than the sea
It is written from the desert
To the mountains they shall lead us
By the hand and by the heart
They will comfort you and me
In their innocence and trusting
They will teach us to be free
For the children and the flowers
Are my sisters and my brothers
Their laughter and their loveliness
Could clear a cloudy day
And the song that I am singing
Is a prayer to non believers
Come and stand beside us
We can find a better way
Words and music by john denver
Parents of Murdered Children meeting missed
Last night I missed another Parents of Murdered Children meeting. I was going fairly regularly to these meetings and find them very beneficial. It's difficult to express how I feel about the other people in the support group. All are families who have lost someone close to them to homicide.
It's the one place where we can go and not feel uncomfortable talking about our grief. It's difficult talking about homicide grief. It's rare, at least in my family, that we talk about it amongst family and friends. Why? You'd think we'd want to talk about it. Well, for us it's because we don't want to cause our loved ones anymore pain than they are already feeling. Let's say one of us is having an okay day, maybe even a good day. Who would want to spoil that day by bringing up our own grief? It's just going to bring them down. It's not going to lift us up by sharing it. Also, once we start talking about it, instead of grief coming out, we all start getting angry. And anger is a major part of the grief. We're not angry at each other, we're angry at the situation. We feel cheated.
And then when we do see people that we haven't seen for a long time... I don't know. They start asking questions and we don't mind answering them. They want to know. They're interested. They care. But after a while of talking about it.... I just get ill. I don't know about other people.
At the POMC meetings the others don't look at you cross eyed when you start talking about that anger. They "get it". They feel the same anger. They don't mention the cliches. If you start blubbering, they know just what to say. And sometimes it's nothing. Some of the people there have been there for years. They are especially helpful because they can give at least a little direction if not much. We are all so different. But there's hope in seeing them there. I feel a sense of comfort having them there. Seeing that they are still sane and haven't gone bonkers. These people aren't going to say "don't dwell on it" "you have to move on" "think of the positives" "God has his reasons" "think of the grandchildren" etc....
That's a rich one. "Think of the grandchildren". As if we don't think of the grandchildren!
I just erased a whole paragraph. I was going to share some of the stories from other families but I had to remind myself they are not my stories to share.
All the stories are tragic. All the stories are heartbreaking. All the stories make you want to cry.
Anyhow, they meet on Wednesday nights. Unfortunately, Wednesdays are Nathan's days off. So, a lot of the foundation business is usually planned for Wednesdays. Last night I missed the meeting because Nathan was practicing his CalNENA keynote address. I wanted to hear it. I could've made the decision to go to the POMC meeting but I opted to listen to Nathan. It's a 45 minute speech and it will address some 600 people.
I missed the last meeting because Nathan had a foundation meeting. I could've opted for the POMC meeting but it's rare I get to go to foundation meetings. I'm usually watching the babies. So, I opted for Nathan's meeting.
I just got word this morning that the SW Florida POMC is going to have 2 meetings a month. One in Punta Gorda and the other in Fort Myers. So, hopefully I'll be able to attend one or the other.
I missed December's meeting. I forget why. I missed November's meeting (it was my birthday). I may even have missed October's meeting! I can't even remember. But, it's been months.
posted in both blogs
It's the one place where we can go and not feel uncomfortable talking about our grief. It's difficult talking about homicide grief. It's rare, at least in my family, that we talk about it amongst family and friends. Why? You'd think we'd want to talk about it. Well, for us it's because we don't want to cause our loved ones anymore pain than they are already feeling. Let's say one of us is having an okay day, maybe even a good day. Who would want to spoil that day by bringing up our own grief? It's just going to bring them down. It's not going to lift us up by sharing it. Also, once we start talking about it, instead of grief coming out, we all start getting angry. And anger is a major part of the grief. We're not angry at each other, we're angry at the situation. We feel cheated.
And then when we do see people that we haven't seen for a long time... I don't know. They start asking questions and we don't mind answering them. They want to know. They're interested. They care. But after a while of talking about it.... I just get ill. I don't know about other people.
At the POMC meetings the others don't look at you cross eyed when you start talking about that anger. They "get it". They feel the same anger. They don't mention the cliches. If you start blubbering, they know just what to say. And sometimes it's nothing. Some of the people there have been there for years. They are especially helpful because they can give at least a little direction if not much. We are all so different. But there's hope in seeing them there. I feel a sense of comfort having them there. Seeing that they are still sane and haven't gone bonkers. These people aren't going to say "don't dwell on it" "you have to move on" "think of the positives" "God has his reasons" "think of the grandchildren" etc....
That's a rich one. "Think of the grandchildren". As if we don't think of the grandchildren!
I just erased a whole paragraph. I was going to share some of the stories from other families but I had to remind myself they are not my stories to share.
All the stories are tragic. All the stories are heartbreaking. All the stories make you want to cry.
Anyhow, they meet on Wednesday nights. Unfortunately, Wednesdays are Nathan's days off. So, a lot of the foundation business is usually planned for Wednesdays. Last night I missed the meeting because Nathan was practicing his CalNENA keynote address. I wanted to hear it. I could've made the decision to go to the POMC meeting but I opted to listen to Nathan. It's a 45 minute speech and it will address some 600 people.
I missed the last meeting because Nathan had a foundation meeting. I could've opted for the POMC meeting but it's rare I get to go to foundation meetings. I'm usually watching the babies. So, I opted for Nathan's meeting.
I just got word this morning that the SW Florida POMC is going to have 2 meetings a month. One in Punta Gorda and the other in Fort Myers. So, hopefully I'll be able to attend one or the other.
I missed December's meeting. I forget why. I missed November's meeting (it was my birthday). I may even have missed October's meeting! I can't even remember. But, it's been months.
posted in both blogs
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
The speculation into Haleigh Cummings disappearance
I really wish it would stop. I have no connection to this family. I just feel for them. I said it before. Before Denise died I probably would be speculating too.
But if this family is feeling what I felt when Denise died, they are feeling "emotionally exposed and naked." It's an awful feeling. You feel like a circus monkey.
There are these two separate comments about the biological mom on one of the websites:
1sr comment:
I think the biological mother has something to do with it, why hasn’t she cried? She seems to be going along with everything, but doesn’t seem sad, just my opinion, but I know if that ever ever happened to any of my children I would be going crazy!!
2nd comment:
i think the real mom took her and is hiding her somewhere she knows fathers work schedule and knows 17 yr old would be blamed, she could have told her to be quiet explaining how misty didnt wake up or hear anything, just a gut feeling she was prob pissed she lost custody went awfully fast from blaming misty to all of the sudden saying she doesnt think misty did anything.. she and her mom put that in everyones head then defends her also dont remember mom talking poly..
link http://livedesk.blogs.foxnews.com/2009/02/18/americas-talking-1-pm-question-17/#comment-19543
Geez! Who knows why the mom isn't crying. Maybe she doesn't like the feeling of being a circus monkey. Maybe she's numb. If she's innocent of any crime here, I can only imagine her feelings of guilt. The only thing we know she's guilty of is losing custody of Haliegh to the biological dad. That's pretty bad. I imagine she's feeling horrific guilt for not being a stable enough parent to be there for her child. And she believes that if she were a better mom maybe this wouldn't be happening.
We can't draw conclusions that she's guilty of murder just because she hasn't cried.
As to the second comment, yeah, I guess it's possible. But who knows? I imagine the police have already considered this if only because when a child is missing from a broken home the first person they look at is the other parent (the one without custody). Just as in Denise's case, the first person they looked at was Nathan.
So all these theories are just spinning air.
We shouldn't start putting someone on trial until we know who to put on trial.
Let's concentrate on finding this little girl.
I'm telling you, having been through it, these people are suffering and are under an unbelievable amount of strain. And I guarantee you they have family members reading this BS on the web.
We need to be praying and not speculating. Just my opinion.
The only reason I keep repeating myself is I hope that this message just reaches if only a few people that it will be heard and people may feel more compassion.
As I said in a earlier post, I know it's because we're all searching for answers. I understand that. And I may have joined in on the speculation before Denise died. But now I know what it's like to be on the receiving end of the speculation. It's horrible. You're already feeling confused, lost, numb, helpless, grief stricken in not knowing, powerless, dread, worry and a gambit of emotions that I can't even begin to describe.
I'm not trying to preach. I'm just trying to send a message. I imagine the Lunsfords, the Brucias, the Ducketts etc..... would all understand what I'm trying to say.
But if this family is feeling what I felt when Denise died, they are feeling "emotionally exposed and naked." It's an awful feeling. You feel like a circus monkey.
There are these two separate comments about the biological mom on one of the websites:
1sr comment:
I think the biological mother has something to do with it, why hasn’t she cried? She seems to be going along with everything, but doesn’t seem sad, just my opinion, but I know if that ever ever happened to any of my children I would be going crazy!!
2nd comment:
i think the real mom took her and is hiding her somewhere she knows fathers work schedule and knows 17 yr old would be blamed, she could have told her to be quiet explaining how misty didnt wake up or hear anything, just a gut feeling she was prob pissed she lost custody went awfully fast from blaming misty to all of the sudden saying she doesnt think misty did anything.. she and her mom put that in everyones head then defends her also dont remember mom talking poly..
link http://livedesk.blogs.foxnews.com/2009/02/18/americas-talking-1-pm-question-17/#comment-19543
Geez! Who knows why the mom isn't crying. Maybe she doesn't like the feeling of being a circus monkey. Maybe she's numb. If she's innocent of any crime here, I can only imagine her feelings of guilt. The only thing we know she's guilty of is losing custody of Haliegh to the biological dad. That's pretty bad. I imagine she's feeling horrific guilt for not being a stable enough parent to be there for her child. And she believes that if she were a better mom maybe this wouldn't be happening.
We can't draw conclusions that she's guilty of murder just because she hasn't cried.
As to the second comment, yeah, I guess it's possible. But who knows? I imagine the police have already considered this if only because when a child is missing from a broken home the first person they look at is the other parent (the one without custody). Just as in Denise's case, the first person they looked at was Nathan.
So all these theories are just spinning air.
We shouldn't start putting someone on trial until we know who to put on trial.
Let's concentrate on finding this little girl.
I'm telling you, having been through it, these people are suffering and are under an unbelievable amount of strain. And I guarantee you they have family members reading this BS on the web.
We need to be praying and not speculating. Just my opinion.
The only reason I keep repeating myself is I hope that this message just reaches if only a few people that it will be heard and people may feel more compassion.
As I said in a earlier post, I know it's because we're all searching for answers. I understand that. And I may have joined in on the speculation before Denise died. But now I know what it's like to be on the receiving end of the speculation. It's horrible. You're already feeling confused, lost, numb, helpless, grief stricken in not knowing, powerless, dread, worry and a gambit of emotions that I can't even begin to describe.
I'm not trying to preach. I'm just trying to send a message. I imagine the Lunsfords, the Brucias, the Ducketts etc..... would all understand what I'm trying to say.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
More speculation about Haleigh Cummings
Mark came home tonight telling me about a sports radio talk show he listens to on a regular basis. And the two men were speculating some not so nice things. I don't know if they are right in their speculations or wrong.
They were speculating about Haleigh's mom. They were speculating about Haleigh's dad. They were speculating about the girlfriend. They were speculating as to why police weren't looking into this family.
I submit to you that the police are looking into this family.
At least I hope so.
But still.... WE DON'T KNOW BEANS RIGHT NOW!!!
Gosh, I dread what's going on or what has happened to this little girl.
What have we come to as people? Are we animals preying on our young?
What in the world is going on? I just don't get it.
I can't stop crying. Sorry. Bad enough and heartbreaking enough to consider strangers doing something horrific to this little girl. But to think that someone in her only family could do something to her........ it should be ludicrous. Sadly, it's not so ludicrous. Nothing could shock me now.
But I still think it's wrong to judge people without knowing all the facts.
Sorry.
They were speculating about Haleigh's mom. They were speculating about Haleigh's dad. They were speculating about the girlfriend. They were speculating as to why police weren't looking into this family.
I submit to you that the police are looking into this family.
At least I hope so.
But still.... WE DON'T KNOW BEANS RIGHT NOW!!!
Gosh, I dread what's going on or what has happened to this little girl.
What have we come to as people? Are we animals preying on our young?
What in the world is going on? I just don't get it.
I can't stop crying. Sorry. Bad enough and heartbreaking enough to consider strangers doing something horrific to this little girl. But to think that someone in her only family could do something to her........ it should be ludicrous. Sadly, it's not so ludicrous. Nothing could shock me now.
But I still think it's wrong to judge people without knowing all the facts.
Sorry.
No news is bad news
Still no news on little Haleigh Cummings. And in this case I imagine no news is bad news. I simply don't know what to think. I haven't been able to watch much news on TV. I remember when Denise went missing a lot of what was reported wasn't exactly misleading but simply not spot on.
It's frustrating. I guess what happened with Denise has jaded my opinion of the credibility of TV news sources. I really don't know how to word what I'm trying to say.
Let me try and spell it out if not for you at least for myself.
Do I trust TV news? Yes and no. Do I believe everything I see on TV? Definitely not. Do I believe TV crews purposefully mislead people? Not really. Maybe a little. But, no, I think they just want to keep a story alive.
Aside here: It's important to keep stories like Haleigh Cummings alive. We never want people to lose interest in finding a lost person, especially a child. So the fact that they are keeping this story alive is a good thing.
But in keeping the story alive, do they keep repeating themselves? Yes. Do they grasp at straws? Yes.
What about the Nancy Grace's and the Greta Van Susteran's of the world? Are they ambulance chasers making a buck over other people's misfortune? Yes. Do they truly care? I don't know. I guess Nancy Grace does.
A lot of people don't like Nancy Grace. I have difficulty watching her show. She seems to be a fairly bitter woman. Almost a shrew. I have nightmares that if I let my anger really take over that I'll become bitter too. I'll become a shrew. Apparently Nancy Grace has reason to be angry and bitter.
This is what wiki has to say about Nancy Grace:
"As a student, Grace was a fan of Shakespearean literature, and intended to become an English professor after graduating from college.[2] However, after the murder of her fiancé, Keith Griffin, when she was 19, Grace decided to enroll in law school and went on to become a felony prosecutor and a supporter of victims' rights.[4]"
I have to respect and admire that. I understand it too. I imagine that changed her world forever, just as Denise's murder has changed my world.
I know I'm not the same person I was before Denise died. And, I too, want to channel my anger and energies to where they may make a difference by helping others. Whether it's through 9-1-1 reform, helping to raise my grandbabies, or simply speaking out about homicide grief.
I have a difficult time watching Nancy Grace. I know from different people they have a difficult time reading my blog. I lack the social tact and graces I used to have. I understand at least some of what Nancy Grace is all about. Her world was shattered and blown apart. And she was only 19 years old.
Greta Van Susteran though. I don't get her. And, I like FoxNews. But Greta's show soured on me during the Natalie Holloway case. I was so sick of it. I still am sick of it. And that upsets me because Natalie Holloway deserves the same compassion as Denise did and does. But because it's been "over" reported people have become numb to it. That just seems wrong.
Both Nancy Grace and Greta Van Susteran tried to do a story with Nate. But at the time we weren't interested.
In any case, little Haleigh's story needs to be kept alive, at least until they find her. And then if it's bad (and I imagine by now it's going to be bad) it needs to stay out there so we can take care of what went wrong.
What is it about Florida? Pilar Rodriguez, Caylee Anthony, Jessica Lunsford, Carlie Brucia, Trenton Duckett, Coral Rose Fullwood, and now Haleigh Cummings.
Now I'm not saying Haleigh is dead or even that Pilar is dead. We don't know. But they are missing and the pain and suffering their families are going through no matter how many years apart must still be intense.
It's interesting. I wish they'd keep these stories alive. I think of the Missouri boy, Shawn Hornbeck, quite often. Even before Denise went missing, I thought of him quite a bit and posted messages on his website. I'd love to know how he's doing. I know it would be an invasion of his privacy and his world has been messed with enough. But, I'd truly like to know that he's doing okay.
Excuse me for rambling about this. I'm just trying to get my thoughts straight
Denise Amber Lee case and Other news
Really there is not a whole lot of news right now. The case is moving forward. We think it'll be August 2008 but we're not banking on it.
The boys are doing well. They are happy again. They went through a spell of...... I don't know. They just weren't themselves but they are again. We're trying to potty train Noah and we're trying to wean Adam off the bottle.
Adam is talking up a storm. Repeats everything. He's also very independent. He runs now and is trying to learn to jump. This is scary because he's becoming a climber. And he's an eating machine. You have it, he wants it. He has it, he wants more. He'll eat just about anything.
Noah is no longer a baby. Noah has blossomed into a little boy. And he's all boy! He's now talking in full sentences. He can now discuss his feelings. He knows who lives down which roads. For example if we pass MomMom's street in the car, he'll say "MomMom's road!" He can tell you how to get from the house to the store by giving directions.
Both still love to be held though. Noah won't always give kisses and hugs anymore but he still enjoys just cozying up on Mark's or my lap.
I miss Denise all the time. Now that I'm reading "Peace is Every Step" I don't think about Denise 24/7 as I was doing. I've been practicing my breathing and smiling. It seems to be working.
And now that Nathan has a new lawyer I'm not nearly as obssessed with the Charlotte County Sheriff Office's I/A report into Jane Kowalski's mishandled 9-1-1 call.
I still worry about Nathan. I guess I always will. It breaks my heart to see him continually try to adjust to his new life without Denise. He does really really well. I'm so proud of him. But it's still hard. I'm glad we're here for him. And the Goffs. I'm glad they're here for him too.
If you're reading this, Brian, I miss you! Come home soon!!!
added edit: I just looked on the FDLE website for missing children. http://www.fdle.state.fl.us/mcicsearch/UnsolvedAlerts.asp
Pilar is not listed. Was she found? I don't know because she's still listed on the Charlotte County Sheriff Office's website.
http://www.ccso.org/localcrime/unsolved_detail.cfm?r=9
Also looking at the FDLE website Haleigh Cummings is the correct spelling (Tammy you were right) and it's not Hayleigh Cummings.
It's frustrating. I guess what happened with Denise has jaded my opinion of the credibility of TV news sources. I really don't know how to word what I'm trying to say.
Let me try and spell it out if not for you at least for myself.
Do I trust TV news? Yes and no. Do I believe everything I see on TV? Definitely not. Do I believe TV crews purposefully mislead people? Not really. Maybe a little. But, no, I think they just want to keep a story alive.
Aside here: It's important to keep stories like Haleigh Cummings alive. We never want people to lose interest in finding a lost person, especially a child. So the fact that they are keeping this story alive is a good thing.
But in keeping the story alive, do they keep repeating themselves? Yes. Do they grasp at straws? Yes.
What about the Nancy Grace's and the Greta Van Susteran's of the world? Are they ambulance chasers making a buck over other people's misfortune? Yes. Do they truly care? I don't know. I guess Nancy Grace does.
A lot of people don't like Nancy Grace. I have difficulty watching her show. She seems to be a fairly bitter woman. Almost a shrew. I have nightmares that if I let my anger really take over that I'll become bitter too. I'll become a shrew. Apparently Nancy Grace has reason to be angry and bitter.
This is what wiki has to say about Nancy Grace:
"As a student, Grace was a fan of Shakespearean literature, and intended to become an English professor after graduating from college.[2] However, after the murder of her fiancé, Keith Griffin, when she was 19, Grace decided to enroll in law school and went on to become a felony prosecutor and a supporter of victims' rights.[4]"
I have to respect and admire that. I understand it too. I imagine that changed her world forever, just as Denise's murder has changed my world.
I know I'm not the same person I was before Denise died. And, I too, want to channel my anger and energies to where they may make a difference by helping others. Whether it's through 9-1-1 reform, helping to raise my grandbabies, or simply speaking out about homicide grief.
I have a difficult time watching Nancy Grace. I know from different people they have a difficult time reading my blog. I lack the social tact and graces I used to have. I understand at least some of what Nancy Grace is all about. Her world was shattered and blown apart. And she was only 19 years old.
Greta Van Susteran though. I don't get her. And, I like FoxNews. But Greta's show soured on me during the Natalie Holloway case. I was so sick of it. I still am sick of it. And that upsets me because Natalie Holloway deserves the same compassion as Denise did and does. But because it's been "over" reported people have become numb to it. That just seems wrong.
Both Nancy Grace and Greta Van Susteran tried to do a story with Nate. But at the time we weren't interested.
In any case, little Haleigh's story needs to be kept alive, at least until they find her. And then if it's bad (and I imagine by now it's going to be bad) it needs to stay out there so we can take care of what went wrong.
What is it about Florida? Pilar Rodriguez, Caylee Anthony, Jessica Lunsford, Carlie Brucia, Trenton Duckett, Coral Rose Fullwood, and now Haleigh Cummings.
Now I'm not saying Haleigh is dead or even that Pilar is dead. We don't know. But they are missing and the pain and suffering their families are going through no matter how many years apart must still be intense.
It's interesting. I wish they'd keep these stories alive. I think of the Missouri boy, Shawn Hornbeck, quite often. Even before Denise went missing, I thought of him quite a bit and posted messages on his website. I'd love to know how he's doing. I know it would be an invasion of his privacy and his world has been messed with enough. But, I'd truly like to know that he's doing okay.
Excuse me for rambling about this. I'm just trying to get my thoughts straight
Denise Amber Lee case and Other news
Really there is not a whole lot of news right now. The case is moving forward. We think it'll be August 2008 but we're not banking on it.
The boys are doing well. They are happy again. They went through a spell of...... I don't know. They just weren't themselves but they are again. We're trying to potty train Noah and we're trying to wean Adam off the bottle.
Adam is talking up a storm. Repeats everything. He's also very independent. He runs now and is trying to learn to jump. This is scary because he's becoming a climber. And he's an eating machine. You have it, he wants it. He has it, he wants more. He'll eat just about anything.
Noah is no longer a baby. Noah has blossomed into a little boy. And he's all boy! He's now talking in full sentences. He can now discuss his feelings. He knows who lives down which roads. For example if we pass MomMom's street in the car, he'll say "MomMom's road!" He can tell you how to get from the house to the store by giving directions.
Both still love to be held though. Noah won't always give kisses and hugs anymore but he still enjoys just cozying up on Mark's or my lap.
I miss Denise all the time. Now that I'm reading "Peace is Every Step" I don't think about Denise 24/7 as I was doing. I've been practicing my breathing and smiling. It seems to be working.
And now that Nathan has a new lawyer I'm not nearly as obssessed with the Charlotte County Sheriff Office's I/A report into Jane Kowalski's mishandled 9-1-1 call.
I still worry about Nathan. I guess I always will. It breaks my heart to see him continually try to adjust to his new life without Denise. He does really really well. I'm so proud of him. But it's still hard. I'm glad we're here for him. And the Goffs. I'm glad they're here for him too.
If you're reading this, Brian, I miss you! Come home soon!!!
added edit: I just looked on the FDLE website for missing children. http://www.fdle.state.fl.us/mcicsearch/UnsolvedAlerts.asp
Pilar is not listed. Was she found? I don't know because she's still listed on the Charlotte County Sheriff Office's website.
http://www.ccso.org/localcrime/unsolved_detail.cfm?r=9
Also looking at the FDLE website Haleigh Cummings is the correct spelling (Tammy you were right) and it's not Hayleigh Cummings.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Haleigh Cummings or is it Hayleigh Cummings and speculation
I sure wish they'd find this little girl and people would back off with their speculation on what happened.
I also wish they'd report the correct spelling for the poor lost little girl. I still can't figure out if it's "Haleigh" or "Hayleigh". Maybe I'm just dim.
It seems disrespectful to be typing the wrong spelling.
When Denise was first reported missing all the news reports kept calling her "Amber". It drove us crazy! We kept telling them, she's not Amber she's DENISE! But they continued to report Amber as if to sensationalize the story even further. In any case it was like sticking needles in us. People to this day still say Amber! As recently as this past week someone said "oh, I'm so sorry about Amber. I've been following her story." All because in those first few days that's how the story was aired.
I think people who have never gone through anything like this before don't understand how much just one little statement can hurt. One little word can feel like a dagger in the heart. That's how distressed we were and most of the time still are. And that's how distressed this family is.
I realize people say stupid things because they don't know what to say. And I realize that families like ours are super sensitive. We don't know what to say either.
What ever the case, sure! Maybe someone inside the family circle harmed this little girl. And sure! Maybe one of them was neglectful. But just as sure a stranger may have crept in and taken her the way that evil monster Couey crept into Jessica Lunsford's home and snatched her! Everyone was so sure that because the family lived in a trailer, someone in the family was responsible. The only facts in Haleigh's story right now are that we don't have any. We don't know what happened. And it's the entire family who is in pain. The entire family. So the speculation hurts them all. And aren't they hurting enough?????????
I remember people speculating about my son Nathan. I remember people speculating about Denise. I remember the not so whispered "Well, she must've known him!" and the "why would she have let him in!"
Well he had a gun people! Obviously since he shot her in the head, it's clear he had a gun! And she had two babies she needed to protect.
Anyhow, I wish I knew how to spell Haleigh's name correctly. And I wish people wouldn't speculate. It's hurtful.
And, yeah, I too think the girl friend "Misty" is a little young but who am I to judge? And who am I to put these people on trial? Let's find the precious baby. Let's lay out the facts and then put on trial whoever is responsible.
I do understand the need and the compulsion to find answers. We all want answers. We all want to find her and by speculating people are simply puzzling over everything and trying to figure out what happened.
All I'm saying is we can't judge anyone until we know the facts. And right now there are no facts.
I know how angry I sound. These stories just put me back into that place. We're blessed in so many ways, my family is. We have the babies safe and sound. The perpetrator is behind bars. It seems to be an open and shut case for us. We do have the trial coming up. Ugh! And we do have the 9-1-1 issues we're contending with. Ugh! But we have the support of so many people.
So, I'll take my anger back and ask very gently, please, please, please, try not to judge this family until we know what's going on. For the sake of this heartbroken family who can't find their little girl let's try not to be hard on them. Trust me, they are in a kinda of pain that can't begin to be imagined.
Just my opinion as always.
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/02/13/earlyshow/main4799710.shtml
I also wish they'd report the correct spelling for the poor lost little girl. I still can't figure out if it's "Haleigh" or "Hayleigh". Maybe I'm just dim.
It seems disrespectful to be typing the wrong spelling.
When Denise was first reported missing all the news reports kept calling her "Amber". It drove us crazy! We kept telling them, she's not Amber she's DENISE! But they continued to report Amber as if to sensationalize the story even further. In any case it was like sticking needles in us. People to this day still say Amber! As recently as this past week someone said "oh, I'm so sorry about Amber. I've been following her story." All because in those first few days that's how the story was aired.
I think people who have never gone through anything like this before don't understand how much just one little statement can hurt. One little word can feel like a dagger in the heart. That's how distressed we were and most of the time still are. And that's how distressed this family is.
I realize people say stupid things because they don't know what to say. And I realize that families like ours are super sensitive. We don't know what to say either.
What ever the case, sure! Maybe someone inside the family circle harmed this little girl. And sure! Maybe one of them was neglectful. But just as sure a stranger may have crept in and taken her the way that evil monster Couey crept into Jessica Lunsford's home and snatched her! Everyone was so sure that because the family lived in a trailer, someone in the family was responsible. The only facts in Haleigh's story right now are that we don't have any. We don't know what happened. And it's the entire family who is in pain. The entire family. So the speculation hurts them all. And aren't they hurting enough?????????
I remember people speculating about my son Nathan. I remember people speculating about Denise. I remember the not so whispered "Well, she must've known him!" and the "why would she have let him in!"
Well he had a gun people! Obviously since he shot her in the head, it's clear he had a gun! And she had two babies she needed to protect.
Anyhow, I wish I knew how to spell Haleigh's name correctly. And I wish people wouldn't speculate. It's hurtful.
And, yeah, I too think the girl friend "Misty" is a little young but who am I to judge? And who am I to put these people on trial? Let's find the precious baby. Let's lay out the facts and then put on trial whoever is responsible.
I do understand the need and the compulsion to find answers. We all want answers. We all want to find her and by speculating people are simply puzzling over everything and trying to figure out what happened.
All I'm saying is we can't judge anyone until we know the facts. And right now there are no facts.
I know how angry I sound. These stories just put me back into that place. We're blessed in so many ways, my family is. We have the babies safe and sound. The perpetrator is behind bars. It seems to be an open and shut case for us. We do have the trial coming up. Ugh! And we do have the 9-1-1 issues we're contending with. Ugh! But we have the support of so many people.
So, I'll take my anger back and ask very gently, please, please, please, try not to judge this family until we know what's going on. For the sake of this heartbroken family who can't find their little girl let's try not to be hard on them. Trust me, they are in a kinda of pain that can't begin to be imagined.
Just my opinion as always.
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/02/13/earlyshow/main4799710.shtml
Friday, February 13, 2009
Jackie Smith
Not a name that's made any headlines, thank goodness.
But a beautiful woman just the same. Jackie lived the good life in a small rural town in the Shenandoah Valley.
This was a person with great generosity and filled to the brim with laughter and loveliness. We have very good memories of Jackie and her husband Walt.
I guess the happiest memories are of their barn dances. Indescribable.
Jackie lived a good, long life with children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. And because she lived such a full rich life filled with love I'm not sorry to see her die. I believe she's in a better place. It's a place she's looked forward to all her life.
I hadn't seen Jackie in many years. Probably at least a decade if not just a tad longer. They were here for us when Mark's dad died in 1995 and we saw them a couple times after that. But only a couple. They aged too much to travel this far. And we hadn't been to Virginia in years. When we go home we go home to Maryland. My family is so large, all our time is spent visiting them. So, Virginia...... the valley...... Skyline Drive......... all in the past.
Anyhow, thank you, Jackie for so many memories. God bless your family at this time. God bless Walt. I can't imagine Walt without you. It's just inconceivable Walt being without you.
I love you. Say hello to Denise. You'll like Denise. She's a sweetheart and a "keeper".
added edit: If there were only one woman in this life that I could emulate it would be this woman. She was a true 'lady'. Bless you, Jackie, we'll miss you. And I still don't know how Walt will get on without you.
But a beautiful woman just the same. Jackie lived the good life in a small rural town in the Shenandoah Valley.
This was a person with great generosity and filled to the brim with laughter and loveliness. We have very good memories of Jackie and her husband Walt.
I guess the happiest memories are of their barn dances. Indescribable.
Jackie lived a good, long life with children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. And because she lived such a full rich life filled with love I'm not sorry to see her die. I believe she's in a better place. It's a place she's looked forward to all her life.
I hadn't seen Jackie in many years. Probably at least a decade if not just a tad longer. They were here for us when Mark's dad died in 1995 and we saw them a couple times after that. But only a couple. They aged too much to travel this far. And we hadn't been to Virginia in years. When we go home we go home to Maryland. My family is so large, all our time is spent visiting them. So, Virginia...... the valley...... Skyline Drive......... all in the past.
Anyhow, thank you, Jackie for so many memories. God bless your family at this time. God bless Walt. I can't imagine Walt without you. It's just inconceivable Walt being without you.
I love you. Say hello to Denise. You'll like Denise. She's a sweetheart and a "keeper".
added edit: If there were only one woman in this life that I could emulate it would be this woman. She was a true 'lady'. Bless you, Jackie, we'll miss you. And I still don't know how Walt will get on without you.
Haleigh Cummings and speculation
I will not speculate about the Cummings family. Or for that matter the Herrera family who lost two children who died in a trunk.
I feel intense pain and heartache for these families.
All I can do is share some of our experiences of when Denise went missing.
When Denise went missing Nathan became the first suspect. That afternoon, I was asked countless times whether Denise would have left willingly and if Nathan would hurt her. I can't tell you how unbearable it is to experience other people thinking your son could do anything so horrific. But speculation was rampant. And in a missing adult case the spouse is always this first suspect. Poor Nathan. We couldn't get on with worry about Denise and praying. We were being questioned. We don't blame the police for this. We blame the society we're living in. And we were more than willing to answer any questions we could if it meant helping to find Denise.
People speculated and still speculate that Denise knew the evil monster Michael King and that they were having an affair. It's ridiculous, hurtful and unkind. As if Denise would associate with such a person. It's ludicrous.
The police are proof positive that Denise had no clue who Michael King was and that she never set her eyes on the man before he kidnapped her, raped her and eventually murdered her.
Fortunately for us Denise left the best evidence to take suspicion away from Nathan. Not 3 hours after she was kidnapped she was able to make a 9-1-1 call. She kept the call taker on the line for 7 minutes. During that time she stated she was kidnapped and that her babies were home alone. Thank you, Denise, for that.
I can't imagine if Nathan had been a suspect for several days. I believe the pain would've been unbearable.
When Jessica Lunsford went missing there was intense suspicion focused on Mark Lunsford. We later found out that Mark Lunsford had nothing to do with Jessica's demise. It was the evil monster John Couey.
Before Denise went missing, I will admit that I would probably have joined in on the speculation. Now? Never again. I know first hand how hurtful it is for people to assume things when the not even the police know what to think.
In any case I hope this little girl is found soon for everyone's sake.
I just can't believe this is happening again. It's so so horrible.
Anyway, I beg for people to not speculate on this family until the facts come out. I don't know this family. But I do know some of their unbearable pain.
Please. If they or anyone of them are involved, let the police speculate and figure it out. Do not put these people on trial until a trial is deemed necessary. Let them get on with their prayers and heartache and leave them alone. That is unless you know something. In that case, go to the police with it right away.
It's the only compassionate thing to do.
I feel intense pain and heartache for these families.
All I can do is share some of our experiences of when Denise went missing.
When Denise went missing Nathan became the first suspect. That afternoon, I was asked countless times whether Denise would have left willingly and if Nathan would hurt her. I can't tell you how unbearable it is to experience other people thinking your son could do anything so horrific. But speculation was rampant. And in a missing adult case the spouse is always this first suspect. Poor Nathan. We couldn't get on with worry about Denise and praying. We were being questioned. We don't blame the police for this. We blame the society we're living in. And we were more than willing to answer any questions we could if it meant helping to find Denise.
People speculated and still speculate that Denise knew the evil monster Michael King and that they were having an affair. It's ridiculous, hurtful and unkind. As if Denise would associate with such a person. It's ludicrous.
The police are proof positive that Denise had no clue who Michael King was and that she never set her eyes on the man before he kidnapped her, raped her and eventually murdered her.
Fortunately for us Denise left the best evidence to take suspicion away from Nathan. Not 3 hours after she was kidnapped she was able to make a 9-1-1 call. She kept the call taker on the line for 7 minutes. During that time she stated she was kidnapped and that her babies were home alone. Thank you, Denise, for that.
I can't imagine if Nathan had been a suspect for several days. I believe the pain would've been unbearable.
When Jessica Lunsford went missing there was intense suspicion focused on Mark Lunsford. We later found out that Mark Lunsford had nothing to do with Jessica's demise. It was the evil monster John Couey.
Before Denise went missing, I will admit that I would probably have joined in on the speculation. Now? Never again. I know first hand how hurtful it is for people to assume things when the not even the police know what to think.
In any case I hope this little girl is found soon for everyone's sake.
I just can't believe this is happening again. It's so so horrible.
Anyway, I beg for people to not speculate on this family until the facts come out. I don't know this family. But I do know some of their unbearable pain.
Please. If they or anyone of them are involved, let the police speculate and figure it out. Do not put these people on trial until a trial is deemed necessary. Let them get on with their prayers and heartache and leave them alone. That is unless you know something. In that case, go to the police with it right away.
It's the only compassionate thing to do.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
And on a happier note
my sister just emailed me this pic!
Mark, me, my baby brother Danny, Stephanie and Mark A.
Must've been circa 1980!
Haleigh Cummings
It's difficult to write about this little girl.
I pray to God that this young child is safe. Another little girl missing.
What is it about Florida? Pilar Rodriguez, Carlie Brucia, Jessica Lunsford, Coral Rose Fullwood, Caylee Anthony, and I'm sure there are others that I'm missing.
In any case, it's hard to wrap my mind around this. I couldn't even read about Caylee Anthony.
And now Haleigh Cummings.
It all just hits too close to home. It brings back so many emotions.
I weep inside for this family and for this young child.
I weep inside for Denise.
I just don't understand. My brain simply can't take it in how terrible this world can be.
What are we animals?
Oh, Denise. If this child is with you, hold her tight and wrap your arms around her.
I pray to God that this young child is safe. Another little girl missing.
What is it about Florida? Pilar Rodriguez, Carlie Brucia, Jessica Lunsford, Coral Rose Fullwood, Caylee Anthony, and I'm sure there are others that I'm missing.
In any case, it's hard to wrap my mind around this. I couldn't even read about Caylee Anthony.
And now Haleigh Cummings.
It all just hits too close to home. It brings back so many emotions.
I weep inside for this family and for this young child.
I weep inside for Denise.
I just don't understand. My brain simply can't take it in how terrible this world can be.
What are we animals?
Oh, Denise. If this child is with you, hold her tight and wrap your arms around her.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Lt Governor Jeff Kottkamp
I truly hope someone looks into this guy. He seems to think he's above the law too. This is the guy who is protecting our governor, Gov. Charlie Crist, from our family. We don't believe the governor sees or wants see anything we've written to him about 9-1-1 reform. We don't believe the governor hears or wants to hear anything we have to say about 9-1-1 reform. Why? Because this guy, Lt Gov Kottkamp, grew up and is buddy buddy with guess who! Sheriff Bill Cameron. The man directly responsible for the 9-1-1 debacle that happened in Charlotte County the night my daughter in law, Denise Amber Lee was kidnapped, raped and shot in the head. I'm amazed Governor Charlie Crist hasn't taken an interest in all the 9-1-1 issues especially with all the coverage from the media. We're talking about public safety. The entire nation is talking about Denise's story and her story is being used in training centers as far a way as California. California wants to talk about it. Nathan is going to California to speak before a 9-1-1 convention. And our governor won't even look at the issues that I'm aware of.
There can be only one reason. He endorsed Bill Cameron who would love for this to be "kept" under the rug. It'll be embarrassing if people find out that his Lt Gov Jeff Kottkamp knew about it. Just my opinion, of course. We don't know for sure because we need an external investigation and only the governor can request and insist on that.
I would love to see the entire story come out someday. I would love to have our questions finally answered.
sigh
link http://www.palmbeachpost.com/storm/content/state/epaper/2009/02/09/0209costlytrips.html
There can be only one reason. He endorsed Bill Cameron who would love for this to be "kept" under the rug. It'll be embarrassing if people find out that his Lt Gov Jeff Kottkamp knew about it. Just my opinion, of course. We don't know for sure because we need an external investigation and only the governor can request and insist on that.
I would love to see the entire story come out someday. I would love to have our questions finally answered.
sigh
link http://www.palmbeachpost.com/storm/content/state/epaper/2009/02/09/0209costlytrips.html
Today's Herald-Tribune by Zac Anderson
Death results in fast change in 911 procedure
By Zac Anderson
Published: Wednesday, February 11, 2009 at 1:00 a.m.
Last Modified: Wednesday, February 11, 2009 at 12:29 a.m.
Sarasota County will immediately change how it handles 911 calls as a result of an infant's death last month, when emergency workers were sent to the wrong address 30 miles from the baby's home.
Every 911 caller will now be asked for the closest cross street to their address, after an investigation by Sarasota County sheriff's Capt. Jeff Bell.
"The added variable of obtaining a cross street greatly reduces the likelihood of an addressing error by the caller," Bell wrote in the investigation released Tuesday.
The report does not recommend any discipline for the four 911 call takers involved with the call. An agency spokesman said the call takers were not at fault because they "followed procedures."
Three-month-old Nelson Alexander Booth Almeida was not breathing on Jan. 31 at 2:45 a.m. when his panicked mother called for help. She mistakenly gave her address as 1280 Highland Ave. -- an Englewood address -- instead of 1280 Highland St. in Sarasota, delaying an ambulance by 12 minutes.
Aside from verifying cross streets, Bell's report mentions eight other potential 911 policy changes, including better maps to locate cell phone calls. But none of the other suggestions will be implemented immediately.
Better mapping would require technology upgrades. The Sheriff's Office also wants to evaluate each of the changes for how they might affect ambulance and police response times, said sheriff's spokesman Lt. Chuck Lesaltato.
"There may be more changes," Lesaltato said. "But we have to remember that seconds count."
Bell's report also recommends the Sheriff's Office support a proposed county ordinance allowing public safety officials to change similar street names. The County Commission will consider the ordinance March 23.
One of the big questions in the investigation was how the initial call taker, Keri Halpin, used the cell phone mapping technology available in the 911 center.
Anytime someone calls 911 from a cell phone, their location is immediately visible on a map on the call taker's screen.
If the caller has a newer cell phone, the map shows the person's location within a few hundred meters.
But even with older cell phones the map shows the nearest cell tower, which is usually within a mile of the caller.
Experts noted after the mix-up that a quick map check should have shown Halpin that the caller was nowhere near Englewood.
And in fact the map did show the 911 tower's location as Independence Court in Sarasota, Bell's report notes.
But Sarasota County's system erases the initial map when the call taker enters a precise address, which Halpin did within seconds.
"At no time do both locations appear on the map," Bell wrote. "This severely limits the operator's map recognition time. ... It also prevents the operator from a comparison view."
Bell is still exploring whether a 911 mapping system can chart both points on one map: The initial satellite location transmitted from the cell phone and the address provided by the caller.
If the technology will not allow a single map, Bell recommended two separate maps that could be compared side by side.
Lesaltato said Sheriff Tom Knight reviewed and supported Bell's recommendations.
Citizens who have been advocating 911 reforms since the death of North Port mother Denise Amber Lee after a Charlotte County 911 center error last year applauded Sarasota County's move.
"Anything in that direction is a great idea," said David Garofalo, a North Port city commissioner and member of the Denise Amber Lee Foundation. "Asking a cross street can't hurt."
Nelson Almeida, the father of the dead child, also expressed support but wondered why it took a tragedy to prompt improvements.
"How can we not have better maps already?" he said. "They have helicopters and Taser guns but 911 isn't important?"
link: http://www.heraldtribune.com/article/20090211/ARTICLE/902110351/2055/NEWS?Title=Death_results_in_fast_change_in_911_procedure
By Zac Anderson
Published: Wednesday, February 11, 2009 at 1:00 a.m.
Last Modified: Wednesday, February 11, 2009 at 12:29 a.m.
Sarasota County will immediately change how it handles 911 calls as a result of an infant's death last month, when emergency workers were sent to the wrong address 30 miles from the baby's home.
Every 911 caller will now be asked for the closest cross street to their address, after an investigation by Sarasota County sheriff's Capt. Jeff Bell.
"The added variable of obtaining a cross street greatly reduces the likelihood of an addressing error by the caller," Bell wrote in the investigation released Tuesday.
The report does not recommend any discipline for the four 911 call takers involved with the call. An agency spokesman said the call takers were not at fault because they "followed procedures."
Three-month-old Nelson Alexander Booth Almeida was not breathing on Jan. 31 at 2:45 a.m. when his panicked mother called for help. She mistakenly gave her address as 1280 Highland Ave. -- an Englewood address -- instead of 1280 Highland St. in Sarasota, delaying an ambulance by 12 minutes.
Aside from verifying cross streets, Bell's report mentions eight other potential 911 policy changes, including better maps to locate cell phone calls. But none of the other suggestions will be implemented immediately.
Better mapping would require technology upgrades. The Sheriff's Office also wants to evaluate each of the changes for how they might affect ambulance and police response times, said sheriff's spokesman Lt. Chuck Lesaltato.
"There may be more changes," Lesaltato said. "But we have to remember that seconds count."
Bell's report also recommends the Sheriff's Office support a proposed county ordinance allowing public safety officials to change similar street names. The County Commission will consider the ordinance March 23.
One of the big questions in the investigation was how the initial call taker, Keri Halpin, used the cell phone mapping technology available in the 911 center.
Anytime someone calls 911 from a cell phone, their location is immediately visible on a map on the call taker's screen.
If the caller has a newer cell phone, the map shows the person's location within a few hundred meters.
But even with older cell phones the map shows the nearest cell tower, which is usually within a mile of the caller.
Experts noted after the mix-up that a quick map check should have shown Halpin that the caller was nowhere near Englewood.
And in fact the map did show the 911 tower's location as Independence Court in Sarasota, Bell's report notes.
But Sarasota County's system erases the initial map when the call taker enters a precise address, which Halpin did within seconds.
"At no time do both locations appear on the map," Bell wrote. "This severely limits the operator's map recognition time. ... It also prevents the operator from a comparison view."
Bell is still exploring whether a 911 mapping system can chart both points on one map: The initial satellite location transmitted from the cell phone and the address provided by the caller.
If the technology will not allow a single map, Bell recommended two separate maps that could be compared side by side.
Lesaltato said Sheriff Tom Knight reviewed and supported Bell's recommendations.
Citizens who have been advocating 911 reforms since the death of North Port mother Denise Amber Lee after a Charlotte County 911 center error last year applauded Sarasota County's move.
"Anything in that direction is a great idea," said David Garofalo, a North Port city commissioner and member of the Denise Amber Lee Foundation. "Asking a cross street can't hurt."
Nelson Almeida, the father of the dead child, also expressed support but wondered why it took a tragedy to prompt improvements.
"How can we not have better maps already?" he said. "They have helicopters and Taser guns but 911 isn't important?"
link: http://www.heraldtribune.com/article/20090211/ARTICLE/902110351/2055/NEWS?Title=Death_results_in_fast_change_in_911_procedure
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
The grandchildren's grief
I posted this in my other blog but felt it needed to be posted here. I just feel as if it's important for my family and friends to know about the Noah and Adam. Remember my other blog is anonymous so I don't mention them by name. But y'all know who they are and how much they are loved.
The grandchildren's grief
I hesitate to blog about this simply because I'm no expert. So what I'll share is my experiences with the children but I'll not give advice. I have none to give.
I say "my experiences" with the children because I believe they experience and react differently with different people. I believe they may react different with their MomMom (their other grandmother) than with me. She has a grace about her and a quietness. I'm a little louder and more talkative. Just as my relationships with my grandmothers were different, I believe their relationship with each of us are different. One's not better than the other they are simply different. IMO the roles of both sets of grandparents is to give the grandchildren the best of both worlds.
In the beginning I believe MomMom and I were both very worried. I was worried because my son moved in with her and the babies grandpa directly after my daughter in law died. They needed to be near the children and my son needed to be near them. Living in their home brought him closer to our daughter in law. So, it worked out for all of them. My husband and I felt almost stranded. Here I was my son's mom, and it didnt seem as if he needed me. His life was shattered and destroyed but I was "it seemed" not needed. I was so afraid of losing him and the babies. I felt alone and isolated.
I remember having a strong desire that lasted a very long time of wanting to hold my son and rock him gently back and forth. I wanted to desperately take his pain away. I learned then, that as a grown man, my son didn't necessarily need me holding him. And he certainly didn't need me hovering. I made a vow then that I would do my best to not meddle in his life and to have complete faith in him. I still do my best to hold on to that vow. The desire to rock him and hold him has never really gone away. I guess all mom's feel that. I can't imagine what MomMom is feeling.
I'm sure MomMom was worried too. It was her daughter who was lost. I can only imagine her thought pattern. But I believe she would've thought that possibly my son would come running to our side of the family when ever he needed someone. And that her role would dwindle in time. Who knows, my son may remarry someday.... etc.... the thoughts race. Who knows what the future brings? It sux having to think about it. Rightfully, the daughter should be there. It's unnatural that she's not. Anger again.
Fortunately, for her and me, we are both kind, loving, caring and compassionate individuals. I think we instinctively knew and know each other's fears. And we've done our best, without really saying so, to share willingly and lovingly.
Throughout this past year we've worked together in every way possible. I feel blessed that she's their MomMom. We're both very different. She's quiet. I'm more outgoing. But we're both the same in the way we love these babies and want the best for them.
That helps. A great deal. If I was to give advice that's what it would be. Be good to the in-laws and GET ALONG! It's so important for the children.
Our two grandbabies have been shuffled around quite a bit.
In the beginning my son lived with both boys at the in-laws. (He's since moved out). Then the in-laws went back to work and so did my son. I didn't go back right away. I stayed home with the boys. So, that worked out. I stayed with the boys during the day and then my son and the in-laws had them at night. We didn't feel comfortable putting them in daycare right away because when my daughter in law died she was a stay at home mom. So, we tried to respect that.
Eventually though, we felt it was time they went into daycare. I had to start working as much as I could and the boys needed it. Especially the older one. We started the older one first and eased the younger one in.
I should tell you that when my daughter in law died the oldest had just turned 2. And the youngest had just turned 6 months. They are exactly 18 months apart.
At the time of her death neither child could talk. The eldest was saying one word phrases but that was it. The only words he had put together were "bye bye big truck". My daughter in law was constantly working with him. But he digressed in some ways. She had almost had him potty trained and well........ it's over a year later and we're still potty training him. That's because we basically stopped because of the stress and didn't start again until a couple of months ago. I think the potty training brings back memories for him. I think he's fighting it for her. I don't know.
We do our best to keep her memory alive in both of them. The youngest does recognize her picture and can point and say "mommy" but he doesn't have any memory. I know I talk about her with the oldest quite often. I'll tell him he reminds me of his mommy especially when he's happy and silly.
I remember those first few months when I had them during the day. They were special days but there were odd times for the oldest. I remember he would look off into the distance. He couldn't play by himself the way most children do. He had to have constant attention. It was as if, when he played alone he would think and remember. I remember going into another room and finding him lying on the floor and just staring into space. I'd say "are you okay" and he wouldn't say. He'd just stare into space. I was puzzled at first and then learned that during those times he was thinking about mommy. I asked "are you thinking about mommy?" and he'd nod. So, I'd get her picture out and we'd chat about her. He'd sit on my lap and I'd go over how pretty she was and how she was always smiling. He enjoyed that immensely. He wanted to talk about her. He wanted to remember her. My husband sometimes would think I was being morbid but no. It seemed important to chat about her. The chats were and still are very casual and fun.
I remember times when he would take her picture (we have one that's very special that I keep out and in reach for him) and set it in the middle of the coffee table. Then he would play with his cars and trucks while she sat on the table watching. It was eerie. It gave me shivers and still does. But I let him.
Then there were times, later, when he started "I don't want grandma! Want mommy!" That is when he was first starting to be able to voice his feelings. "DON'T WANT GRANDMA! WANT MOMMY!!!!" oh my gosh. What do you do? Me? I cried inside and out. Then we cried together and I held him. We cried. But it was only once. We never did it again.
Then one night I went to kiss him goodnight and he wanted mommy. So I said "okay, close your eyes and pretend.... and then I'll be mommy. Close your eyes!" and he did. I kissed him and he was happy. That only happened once though. The moment has never been recaptured. We've never done it since.
It seems as if by the age of 3 he's accepted (and it took probably 7-8 months) that she's not coming back.
Anger issues? Yes, I know he has them. We all do. We can't run away from them.
But all in all, he's happy. He smiles and laughs and giggles 85% of the time. At least when he's here. (I started typing 95% but I brought that number down).
The youngest? I think some of us disagree on how to handle him. He likes his 3 B's. His Binky, his Blanket and his Bottle. He gets shuttled from daddy's to MomMom's to my house and has never had a "true" routine since his mommy died. His 3 B's are his routine. At 18 months, my son believes it's time to start weaning him. I oppose this but only mention it here. My son is the decision maker.
But he does good. He really does. He's a scamp, the youngest! He loves to perform! He's, of course, way ahead of the older one at his age because he mimics everything and he's a daredevil!
They are so precious. My daughter in law saved their lives. She literally saved their lives by keeping the perp/creep/monster as far away from them as she could. She laid down her life for them. I really really miss her.
The grandchildren's grief
I hesitate to blog about this simply because I'm no expert. So what I'll share is my experiences with the children but I'll not give advice. I have none to give.
I say "my experiences" with the children because I believe they experience and react differently with different people. I believe they may react different with their MomMom (their other grandmother) than with me. She has a grace about her and a quietness. I'm a little louder and more talkative. Just as my relationships with my grandmothers were different, I believe their relationship with each of us are different. One's not better than the other they are simply different. IMO the roles of both sets of grandparents is to give the grandchildren the best of both worlds.
In the beginning I believe MomMom and I were both very worried. I was worried because my son moved in with her and the babies grandpa directly after my daughter in law died. They needed to be near the children and my son needed to be near them. Living in their home brought him closer to our daughter in law. So, it worked out for all of them. My husband and I felt almost stranded. Here I was my son's mom, and it didnt seem as if he needed me. His life was shattered and destroyed but I was "it seemed" not needed. I was so afraid of losing him and the babies. I felt alone and isolated.
I remember having a strong desire that lasted a very long time of wanting to hold my son and rock him gently back and forth. I wanted to desperately take his pain away. I learned then, that as a grown man, my son didn't necessarily need me holding him. And he certainly didn't need me hovering. I made a vow then that I would do my best to not meddle in his life and to have complete faith in him. I still do my best to hold on to that vow. The desire to rock him and hold him has never really gone away. I guess all mom's feel that. I can't imagine what MomMom is feeling.
I'm sure MomMom was worried too. It was her daughter who was lost. I can only imagine her thought pattern. But I believe she would've thought that possibly my son would come running to our side of the family when ever he needed someone. And that her role would dwindle in time. Who knows, my son may remarry someday.... etc.... the thoughts race. Who knows what the future brings? It sux having to think about it. Rightfully, the daughter should be there. It's unnatural that she's not. Anger again.
Fortunately, for her and me, we are both kind, loving, caring and compassionate individuals. I think we instinctively knew and know each other's fears. And we've done our best, without really saying so, to share willingly and lovingly.
Throughout this past year we've worked together in every way possible. I feel blessed that she's their MomMom. We're both very different. She's quiet. I'm more outgoing. But we're both the same in the way we love these babies and want the best for them.
That helps. A great deal. If I was to give advice that's what it would be. Be good to the in-laws and GET ALONG! It's so important for the children.
Our two grandbabies have been shuffled around quite a bit.
In the beginning my son lived with both boys at the in-laws. (He's since moved out). Then the in-laws went back to work and so did my son. I didn't go back right away. I stayed home with the boys. So, that worked out. I stayed with the boys during the day and then my son and the in-laws had them at night. We didn't feel comfortable putting them in daycare right away because when my daughter in law died she was a stay at home mom. So, we tried to respect that.
Eventually though, we felt it was time they went into daycare. I had to start working as much as I could and the boys needed it. Especially the older one. We started the older one first and eased the younger one in.
I should tell you that when my daughter in law died the oldest had just turned 2. And the youngest had just turned 6 months. They are exactly 18 months apart.
At the time of her death neither child could talk. The eldest was saying one word phrases but that was it. The only words he had put together were "bye bye big truck". My daughter in law was constantly working with him. But he digressed in some ways. She had almost had him potty trained and well........ it's over a year later and we're still potty training him. That's because we basically stopped because of the stress and didn't start again until a couple of months ago. I think the potty training brings back memories for him. I think he's fighting it for her. I don't know.
We do our best to keep her memory alive in both of them. The youngest does recognize her picture and can point and say "mommy" but he doesn't have any memory. I know I talk about her with the oldest quite often. I'll tell him he reminds me of his mommy especially when he's happy and silly.
I remember those first few months when I had them during the day. They were special days but there were odd times for the oldest. I remember he would look off into the distance. He couldn't play by himself the way most children do. He had to have constant attention. It was as if, when he played alone he would think and remember. I remember going into another room and finding him lying on the floor and just staring into space. I'd say "are you okay" and he wouldn't say. He'd just stare into space. I was puzzled at first and then learned that during those times he was thinking about mommy. I asked "are you thinking about mommy?" and he'd nod. So, I'd get her picture out and we'd chat about her. He'd sit on my lap and I'd go over how pretty she was and how she was always smiling. He enjoyed that immensely. He wanted to talk about her. He wanted to remember her. My husband sometimes would think I was being morbid but no. It seemed important to chat about her. The chats were and still are very casual and fun.
I remember times when he would take her picture (we have one that's very special that I keep out and in reach for him) and set it in the middle of the coffee table. Then he would play with his cars and trucks while she sat on the table watching. It was eerie. It gave me shivers and still does. But I let him.
Then there were times, later, when he started "I don't want grandma! Want mommy!" That is when he was first starting to be able to voice his feelings. "DON'T WANT GRANDMA! WANT MOMMY!!!!" oh my gosh. What do you do? Me? I cried inside and out. Then we cried together and I held him. We cried. But it was only once. We never did it again.
Then one night I went to kiss him goodnight and he wanted mommy. So I said "okay, close your eyes and pretend.... and then I'll be mommy. Close your eyes!" and he did. I kissed him and he was happy. That only happened once though. The moment has never been recaptured. We've never done it since.
It seems as if by the age of 3 he's accepted (and it took probably 7-8 months) that she's not coming back.
Anger issues? Yes, I know he has them. We all do. We can't run away from them.
But all in all, he's happy. He smiles and laughs and giggles 85% of the time. At least when he's here. (I started typing 95% but I brought that number down).
The youngest? I think some of us disagree on how to handle him. He likes his 3 B's. His Binky, his Blanket and his Bottle. He gets shuttled from daddy's to MomMom's to my house and has never had a "true" routine since his mommy died. His 3 B's are his routine. At 18 months, my son believes it's time to start weaning him. I oppose this but only mention it here. My son is the decision maker.
But he does good. He really does. He's a scamp, the youngest! He loves to perform! He's, of course, way ahead of the older one at his age because he mimics everything and he's a daredevil!
They are so precious. My daughter in law saved their lives. She literally saved their lives by keeping the perp/creep/monster as far away from them as she could. She laid down her life for them. I really really miss her.
I don't know what to do. I'm that numb.
It's been a bad day. It started off with me messing up all Mark's emails by trying to install a new email program. He couldn't get access to them. And he needs access to them.
Then we received a very cold email from someone in the 9-1-1 industry that just blew my mind. I still don't see how people can't see that we are trying to help the best way we know how. We're not villians. We're concerned citizens. We're not attacking, we're seeking advice and direction. We just want to minimize mistakes and human errors. WE WANT TO HELP.
Then Mark's mom called. His Aunt Wilma is dying. She's older and in her eighties. She's lived a very good life with 5 kids all loving her. It's not unexpected. She's has cancer. But I can't stop crying inside. I was closer to Mark's Aunt Wilma than I've been with my own aunts during my adult years. That's not to say I don't love my own aunts dearly. I grew up spending nights at their houses, swimming in their pools, visiting and shopping. I couldn't have had better aunts growing up. Mark is very close to his aunt. I'm so worried about Mark.
Anyhow, I'm numb. Simply numb.
I can't even pack boxes today. I'm just staring at them.
It's the first day that I thought "if Nathan asks me to pick the children up from daycare, I'm going to tell him I can't do it."
I know it's because we have too much time on our hands. Everyone else has 40 hour work weeks. I have maybe a 10 hour work week. And Mark..... is barely working at all. So, we're the ones immersed in the 9-1-1 stuff. And it's depressing. Losing our house is depressing. Losing Aunt Wilma is depressing. Having to screw around with computers is frustrating.
So, Mark and I drove out to the fishing pier and took a long walk. It was very pleasant and we watched the dolphins.
Anyhow, I don't think I'm in any emotional shape to pick up the grandchildren. Nathan just called and asked me to. I said I would.
I wonder if I should call Sue and ask her to do it. I can't think straight anymore.
Then I think maybe having the babies will be a good thing and get my mind off this stuff. But, heck, I don't want them around my issues. And there's my concern for Mark. Some days he just can't deal with the kids.
sigh
I don't know what to do. If I'm not crying on the outside, I'm crying on the inside.
And now I'm not sure whether to put this post in this blog or the other blog.
In case you're curious. Yes, I need to see my doctor. I haven't seen him in a while. I stopped seeing the therapist even though he was free. I need someone very hardcore to handle my emotional issues. And, he I believe is just the wrong therapist.
We don't have health insurance. Heck, now we don't have a house.
Dang. I'm going to shut up. I'm going to lay down, take two aspirin and repeat over and over in my mind "you are not going crazy. you are not going crazy. you are not going crazy."
I'm going to post this in both blogs and deal with the decision after re-reading this later.
Much love and peace to all.
added edit:
I did end up picking up the kids. And, I'm very glad I did. Their warmth, their smiles etc....... truly lifted my spirits. It's impossible to stay down when they're around.
Then we received a very cold email from someone in the 9-1-1 industry that just blew my mind. I still don't see how people can't see that we are trying to help the best way we know how. We're not villians. We're concerned citizens. We're not attacking, we're seeking advice and direction. We just want to minimize mistakes and human errors. WE WANT TO HELP.
Then Mark's mom called. His Aunt Wilma is dying. She's older and in her eighties. She's lived a very good life with 5 kids all loving her. It's not unexpected. She's has cancer. But I can't stop crying inside. I was closer to Mark's Aunt Wilma than I've been with my own aunts during my adult years. That's not to say I don't love my own aunts dearly. I grew up spending nights at their houses, swimming in their pools, visiting and shopping. I couldn't have had better aunts growing up. Mark is very close to his aunt. I'm so worried about Mark.
Anyhow, I'm numb. Simply numb.
I can't even pack boxes today. I'm just staring at them.
It's the first day that I thought "if Nathan asks me to pick the children up from daycare, I'm going to tell him I can't do it."
I know it's because we have too much time on our hands. Everyone else has 40 hour work weeks. I have maybe a 10 hour work week. And Mark..... is barely working at all. So, we're the ones immersed in the 9-1-1 stuff. And it's depressing. Losing our house is depressing. Losing Aunt Wilma is depressing. Having to screw around with computers is frustrating.
So, Mark and I drove out to the fishing pier and took a long walk. It was very pleasant and we watched the dolphins.
Anyhow, I don't think I'm in any emotional shape to pick up the grandchildren. Nathan just called and asked me to. I said I would.
I wonder if I should call Sue and ask her to do it. I can't think straight anymore.
Then I think maybe having the babies will be a good thing and get my mind off this stuff. But, heck, I don't want them around my issues. And there's my concern for Mark. Some days he just can't deal with the kids.
sigh
I don't know what to do. If I'm not crying on the outside, I'm crying on the inside.
And now I'm not sure whether to put this post in this blog or the other blog.
In case you're curious. Yes, I need to see my doctor. I haven't seen him in a while. I stopped seeing the therapist even though he was free. I need someone very hardcore to handle my emotional issues. And, he I believe is just the wrong therapist.
We don't have health insurance. Heck, now we don't have a house.
Dang. I'm going to shut up. I'm going to lay down, take two aspirin and repeat over and over in my mind "you are not going crazy. you are not going crazy. you are not going crazy."
I'm going to post this in both blogs and deal with the decision after re-reading this later.
Much love and peace to all.
added edit:
I did end up picking up the kids. And, I'm very glad I did. Their warmth, their smiles etc....... truly lifted my spirits. It's impossible to stay down when they're around.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Denise
Dear Denise,
I miss this blog.
And in missing it I realize just how much this blog has kept your memory alive for me.
So.... whether it be healthy or unhealthy, I feel compelled to continue blogging about you. I'll do my best to keep any anger issues out of it.
I miss you so much.
Dear blog,
Today was especially difficult. Nathan is speaking before almost 600 people in less than 2 weeks out in California. Mark and I have been reviewing videos to show before his speech.
Let's just say, the day has brought it all back. Not that it ever leaves but some days are more intense for whatever reason.
I've been packing boxes (Mark and I are moving) and for whatever reason I've had visuals of Denise on and off all day.
Oh, sweetheart, this 9-1-1 crusade is a tough journey. I wonder sometimes if we jumped in too soon. I feel we need all our strength and all our energy to focus on it to get it done right. Since I stopped blogging on this blog there was another tragedy.
A baby boy stopped breathing and the mom called 9-1-1. Sadly and tragically she said "avenue" instead of "street" (I could have that backwards) and the paramedics went to the wrong home. They went to a home 30 miles away. Obviously it's not the dispatcher's fault. And equally obvious is it's not the young distraught mother's fault. But could the tragedy have been averted? Possibly. We just need to look at it.
Our fight has brought dispatchers down on us. They (at least the ones I've encountered on internet forums) have been greatly offended while others embrace out passion to help. There's no middle.
Anyhow, sweetheart, I miss you and love you.
The babies are well. Adam is a little echo. As is Noah. Noah mimics everything and loves being a dinosaur. Adam mimics Noah. But, of course, you know that. Please keep sending your spirit to us. We need it and cherish it. We are doing our best to instill it in the boys. I tell Noah he reminds me of his mommy all the time. Love you, baby.
I miss this blog.
And in missing it I realize just how much this blog has kept your memory alive for me.
So.... whether it be healthy or unhealthy, I feel compelled to continue blogging about you. I'll do my best to keep any anger issues out of it.
I miss you so much.
Dear blog,
Today was especially difficult. Nathan is speaking before almost 600 people in less than 2 weeks out in California. Mark and I have been reviewing videos to show before his speech.
Let's just say, the day has brought it all back. Not that it ever leaves but some days are more intense for whatever reason.
I've been packing boxes (Mark and I are moving) and for whatever reason I've had visuals of Denise on and off all day.
Oh, sweetheart, this 9-1-1 crusade is a tough journey. I wonder sometimes if we jumped in too soon. I feel we need all our strength and all our energy to focus on it to get it done right. Since I stopped blogging on this blog there was another tragedy.
A baby boy stopped breathing and the mom called 9-1-1. Sadly and tragically she said "avenue" instead of "street" (I could have that backwards) and the paramedics went to the wrong home. They went to a home 30 miles away. Obviously it's not the dispatcher's fault. And equally obvious is it's not the young distraught mother's fault. But could the tragedy have been averted? Possibly. We just need to look at it.
Our fight has brought dispatchers down on us. They (at least the ones I've encountered on internet forums) have been greatly offended while others embrace out passion to help. There's no middle.
Anyhow, sweetheart, I miss you and love you.
The babies are well. Adam is a little echo. As is Noah. Noah mimics everything and loves being a dinosaur. Adam mimics Noah. But, of course, you know that. Please keep sending your spirit to us. We need it and cherish it. We are doing our best to instill it in the boys. I tell Noah he reminds me of his mommy all the time. Love you, baby.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
My last blog
I truly wanted to help people not only sharing my grief so that more people understood what it's like losing someone you love to a homicide. But I also wanted to expose some of the inefficiencies our 9-1-1 center has locally. I was hoping that by exposing them, maybe, just maybe things would improve.
I understand they made changes. People are now no longer allowed to yell information across the room. (They weren't supposed to before and are trained not to but for some reason it was allowed so it's no great change). They are no longer using Nextel in the 9-1-1 call center. The supervisors used them and apparently the night Denise died they added to the supervisor on duty's confusion. I do so hope and I don't know but I do so hope we have a Teletype operator 24/7. That I'm not sure.
I honestly don't know if they've changed anything else. I do know it's still the same old people.
Why am I giving it up?
I'm not sure if it's healthy or unhealthy. I think it's been healthy for me. I know it has. But I'm not so sure it's been healthy for the rest of my family. And as you all know, my family comes first.
I think it scared many of them to see just how angry I've been. I think it makes them worry about me more than they need to. I think it brings them pain. And that's the last thing I want to do is cause other's pain! Especially those I love.
It accomplished what I wanted it to in the sense that I did expose what I believe went wrong the night Denise died in the Charlotte County Sheriff's Office 9-1-1 center. I pray to God things are better and that some of them got a wake up call. Tragically the wake up call cost Denise her life. So, it was a pretty expensive wake up call.
And I think I shared quite adequately just how very much I miss and still love Denise. How she's on my mind 24/7. How hard it is to let go.
I'm not going to delete this blog. I'm going to leave it out there in hopes that maybe it will help homicide survivors in the future.
And if they ever want to get in touch with me as a shoulder to lean on, they can always reach via email.
I have two addresses. Noahsgrandma@gmail.com and PeggyLee@DeniseAmberLee.org
Much love and peace to all.
Peggy Lee
I understand they made changes. People are now no longer allowed to yell information across the room. (They weren't supposed to before and are trained not to but for some reason it was allowed so it's no great change). They are no longer using Nextel in the 9-1-1 call center. The supervisors used them and apparently the night Denise died they added to the supervisor on duty's confusion. I do so hope and I don't know but I do so hope we have a Teletype operator 24/7. That I'm not sure.
I honestly don't know if they've changed anything else. I do know it's still the same old people.
Why am I giving it up?
I'm not sure if it's healthy or unhealthy. I think it's been healthy for me. I know it has. But I'm not so sure it's been healthy for the rest of my family. And as you all know, my family comes first.
I think it scared many of them to see just how angry I've been. I think it makes them worry about me more than they need to. I think it brings them pain. And that's the last thing I want to do is cause other's pain! Especially those I love.
It accomplished what I wanted it to in the sense that I did expose what I believe went wrong the night Denise died in the Charlotte County Sheriff's Office 9-1-1 center. I pray to God things are better and that some of them got a wake up call. Tragically the wake up call cost Denise her life. So, it was a pretty expensive wake up call.
And I think I shared quite adequately just how very much I miss and still love Denise. How she's on my mind 24/7. How hard it is to let go.
I'm not going to delete this blog. I'm going to leave it out there in hopes that maybe it will help homicide survivors in the future.
And if they ever want to get in touch with me as a shoulder to lean on, they can always reach via email.
I have two addresses. Noahsgrandma@gmail.com and PeggyLee@DeniseAmberLee.org
Much love and peace to all.
Peggy Lee
Monday, February 2, 2009
Denise Amber Lee Foundation and 9-1-1 reform
We're making some major headway, IMO, in improving things or at least in bringing about awareness of some of the issues involving 9-1-1 inefficiencies. Who's responsible for all this headway? And who is going to continue the fight? And should'nt we all be on the same team?
Tonight this was aired by Ron Filipkowski on his show Clout941 with his guest, our good friend and foundation member City Commissioner of North Port David Garofalo:
http://www.clout941.com/
I hated to see Mr Filipkowski take such a stab at Zac Anderson. Yes, I agree 100% with Mr Filipkowski that it was in truth insinuated that all this 9-1-1 reform attention, specifically by Rep Roberson, was a result of Zac's series of articles. In Zac's latest article, he seemed to be patting himself on the back. And he made no mention of the angels in blue, the Denise Amber Lee Foundation and the efforts that Nathan and his father-in-law, Rick have been making. We've been working on this reform for a year. My husband, Mark, has spent endless hours in studying the state of the 9-1-1 industry across the country. I can't begin to list all the people involved who have helped us by not only educating us but by supporting us. There are even people who are working behind the scenes that I can't name due to their job security.
Anyhow, IMHO, we all need to stay on the same side and not attack people who are helping the cause. And Zac's series of articles did help.
Who cares if Zac patted himself on the back? Maybe he did'nt realize he was doing it. He's done a great deal for us writing that series of articles and I guarantee you it didn't make him many friends in the 9-1-1 industry. Reading the comments on the Herald Tribune website......... Whew! I say this kiddingly, but if Zac were to call 9-1-1......... I think he'd get an earful.
Again, I just think we need not get on him for this. There are plenty of people who will get ahead simply by being involved with the Foundation and 9-1-1 reform. They will win fans, voters and supporters whether they are journalists or politicians. Some will be sincere in helping us and others will use it as a stepping stool. I believe Zac is sincerely concerned about the state of our 9-1-1 system in Florida. If he gets to use a few steps to move up a ladder, good for him! Those same people will lose fans and voters. The main thing is we fix the problems where needed.
And if that series of articles earns Zac an award or two, then hey! Great! That's even better because it'll put the series of articles in the news again! They may even get national attention and not just by 9-1-1 dispatchers.
I understand what Mr Filipkowski was saying. Zac should've mentioned the Foundation, Rick, Nate, Paige Kreegel and countless others. Maybe by "making him weasel of the week" Zac will be sure to mention everyone who has been working so hard.
I do want to thank Mr Filipkowski very much for bringing more awareness to the Foundation by talking about it tonight on his show.
Also, there is no better spokesperson for us, other than maybe Nate, than David Garofalo!
Aside to David if you read this: WOW! You were great!!! Go North Port!
Tonight this was aired by Ron Filipkowski on his show Clout941 with his guest, our good friend and foundation member City Commissioner of North Port David Garofalo:
http://www.clout941.com/
I hated to see Mr Filipkowski take such a stab at Zac Anderson. Yes, I agree 100% with Mr Filipkowski that it was in truth insinuated that all this 9-1-1 reform attention, specifically by Rep Roberson, was a result of Zac's series of articles. In Zac's latest article, he seemed to be patting himself on the back. And he made no mention of the angels in blue, the Denise Amber Lee Foundation and the efforts that Nathan and his father-in-law, Rick have been making. We've been working on this reform for a year. My husband, Mark, has spent endless hours in studying the state of the 9-1-1 industry across the country. I can't begin to list all the people involved who have helped us by not only educating us but by supporting us. There are even people who are working behind the scenes that I can't name due to their job security.
Anyhow, IMHO, we all need to stay on the same side and not attack people who are helping the cause. And Zac's series of articles did help.
Who cares if Zac patted himself on the back? Maybe he did'nt realize he was doing it. He's done a great deal for us writing that series of articles and I guarantee you it didn't make him many friends in the 9-1-1 industry. Reading the comments on the Herald Tribune website......... Whew! I say this kiddingly, but if Zac were to call 9-1-1......... I think he'd get an earful.
Again, I just think we need not get on him for this. There are plenty of people who will get ahead simply by being involved with the Foundation and 9-1-1 reform. They will win fans, voters and supporters whether they are journalists or politicians. Some will be sincere in helping us and others will use it as a stepping stool. I believe Zac is sincerely concerned about the state of our 9-1-1 system in Florida. If he gets to use a few steps to move up a ladder, good for him! Those same people will lose fans and voters. The main thing is we fix the problems where needed.
And if that series of articles earns Zac an award or two, then hey! Great! That's even better because it'll put the series of articles in the news again! They may even get national attention and not just by 9-1-1 dispatchers.
I understand what Mr Filipkowski was saying. Zac should've mentioned the Foundation, Rick, Nate, Paige Kreegel and countless others. Maybe by "making him weasel of the week" Zac will be sure to mention everyone who has been working so hard.
I do want to thank Mr Filipkowski very much for bringing more awareness to the Foundation by talking about it tonight on his show.
Also, there is no better spokesperson for us, other than maybe Nate, than David Garofalo!
Aside to David if you read this: WOW! You were great!!! Go North Port!
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Still praying for the Herrera's and their extended family
For some reason I can't get this family off my mind. I simply can't imagine the pain the parents must be going through. It's difficult to wrap my mind around it.
It brings back memories of the numbness our family experienced. I don't know how we would've gotten throught those days if it wasn't for family. I think Catholics have it right. I think every family should be big. It's times like these that big families, especially big, close families really mean something.
Oddly, in some ways those early days when we first lost Denise were easier. There was plenty of family around wanting to do all they good. Also those early days were easier because we were in a state of numbness and the pain wasn't as keen and sharp. Now that it's been over a year since we lost Denise, the reality has set in and it all comes down to adjusting. The anger is still very acute.
I simply can't imagine losing two babies. And IMO those two little children were still just babies.
After a while, family tends to back off. They (it seems to me) run out of ideas of what to do and how to help. I imagine they feel, after a while, almost clueless as to how to help. After a time, people wonder what to say. I think, they expect you to start getting over it. I don't think I could ever get over losing two children the way the Herrera's lost their two children. It was so sudden and so senseless.
If I thought my faith was tested imagine how Susan and Jorge Herrera's faith is tested. Hopefully their faith is much stronger than mine was when we lost Denise. Hopefully this family doesn't have the anger issues my family has. Anger just adds more pain to an already painful situation.
As humble as they are I offer my prayers up for this family.
It brings back memories of the numbness our family experienced. I don't know how we would've gotten throught those days if it wasn't for family. I think Catholics have it right. I think every family should be big. It's times like these that big families, especially big, close families really mean something.
Oddly, in some ways those early days when we first lost Denise were easier. There was plenty of family around wanting to do all they good. Also those early days were easier because we were in a state of numbness and the pain wasn't as keen and sharp. Now that it's been over a year since we lost Denise, the reality has set in and it all comes down to adjusting. The anger is still very acute.
I simply can't imagine losing two babies. And IMO those two little children were still just babies.
After a while, family tends to back off. They (it seems to me) run out of ideas of what to do and how to help. I imagine they feel, after a while, almost clueless as to how to help. After a time, people wonder what to say. I think, they expect you to start getting over it. I don't think I could ever get over losing two children the way the Herrera's lost their two children. It was so sudden and so senseless.
If I thought my faith was tested imagine how Susan and Jorge Herrera's faith is tested. Hopefully their faith is much stronger than mine was when we lost Denise. Hopefully this family doesn't have the anger issues my family has. Anger just adds more pain to an already painful situation.
As humble as they are I offer my prayers up for this family.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)