Tsunami

(posted in both blogs)

With the trial looming just ahead I thought I'd share some of my feelings. Jury selection starts August 17th. Already news stories are hitting the papers. Today's news story was actually about Coralrose Fullwood. Somehow our story made it into her story because they are delaying her alleged murderer's trial for our trial. I forget the judge's exact words but they were basically "there's no way in hell we can do both trials at the same time". The other stories are about the prosecution releasing new information to the defense.

Ugh! So once again, we have to see the alleged perpetrator's face on a daily basis.

Anyhow, our family's nerves are all on edge and we're all pretty frazzled.

I posted my hurricane chart in my homicide blog and many homicide survivors and PTSD sufferers have said it mirrors their feelings exactly. You do. You feel as if you are in the eye of a great hurricane with debris just swirling around you. All kinds of extraneous things are flying by. Some of it's good stuff and some of it's ugly stuff. They weave near and far while they are flying by at heavy rates of speed. People and relationships are doing the same thing. Sometimes you're close and at other times you're as far away as the moon. Because you're stuck in the eye and can't get out, you have no control over any of it. You try and reach for the good stuff, the best you can. And it ain't easy.

With the trial looming ahead, I'd like to use another mother nature analogy. Now with the trial just over a month a way, I feel as if a great tsunami is headed our way. We know it. We can't control it and it just keeps coming. Each day as it gets closer, it looms larger and larger in the distance. Nothing we can do about it. No way to stop it. I keep having visions of court TV and those distraught families who sit there and have to endure all the pain of listening to it all. I'm horrified of what I'll find out about what the alleged murderer did to Denise. I really don't know the details. I know it was pretty darn bad. I'm horrified at the thought of my son, sitting there having to see the pictures and the evidence. I'm horrified about sitting in the same room with evil. Breathing the same air.

So as the tsunami looms closer you try to prepare but you know, no matter how much you prepare, nothing can prepare you for the havoc it will wreak in your life. You just wait for the great giant wave to wash over you. You just want to swim through it to the other side where there's calm and peace. Sadly, you're still in the water and to survive you have to swim back to the devastation on the shore and at home. You then have to start picking up the pieces, that is if there are any pieces left. You know that the pieces will be broken. Yes, they can be mended and so you start on that journey of picking up the broken shattered pieces of your family.

That's how I feel. And no matter how much I want to "put it into God's hands" it ain't gonna be good. No matter how much I breathe in and out to calm myself, it's still going to break my heart (as it does everyday) to watch my son suffer.

Dear Denise, I'll be there. Every single day. I miss you more than words in a stupid blog can express.

A Rant: Little Haleigh Cummings and her family

Disclosure: posted in both my blogs (it's that much of a rant!)


Apparently there's a lot of speculation going around about this family. The poor beleaguered dad is almost on trial. The poor beleaguered mom isn't helping the situation.

I hope and pray for this young child's sake that this family does all it can to stay together and represent a united front.

By infighting and pointing fingers of past offenses they are only making their suffering worse.
I wish somehow, someone would get this message across to them. .

Geraldo Rivera was issued a no trespassing warrant because he brought up some disgusting stuff with some terribly foul questions. He had the cruelty to pose those questions to the distraught father. That's just wrong. The father hasn't been indicted on any charges and to ask him questions about abuse during his marriage while his little girl is lost well...... Having a bad marriage doesn't make you a murderer. And the mom lost custody. She must've lost custody for a reason. To say there's some bitterness there would probably be an understatement.

This family needs to rise above their petty squabbling and stand together. If and when Haleigh comes back she's going to need BOTH her parents.

Maybe people like Geraldo don't think they are being cruel. Maybe they believe they have the right of free speech to ask any question they'd like.

Well, I submit to you that maybe they do have that right. But it doesn't make the right thing to do.

If these people had just an inkling of the pain that this family is going through they'd shut their foul mouths and wait for the police to do their jobs. They'd stop pointing fingers. They'd help the police. They'd help the family.

I imagine the Cummings family has friends who are helping them. I hope they have a community that is supporting them.

I'm telling you that when someone in your family goes missing, you can't handle any more pain.
Gosh, I'd wish they'd find this poor little girl.

Again, what has the world come to? Why are people hurting our kids? What is it in Florida? Is it Florida? Or is it everywhere and we just get all the bad pub?

Pilar Rodriguez, Carlie Brucia, Jessica Lunsford, Coral Rose Fullwood, Trenton Duckett, Caylee Anthony, Haleigh Cummings.......... And those just off the top of my head.

In more than one of the cases above the public scrutinized the families horribly and were wrong.

Let's look at these cases.

Pilar is still unsolved. They think she was abducted by her babysitter.

Carlie Brucia was abducted by a stranger and murdered. Her mother was pretty much and still is on trial by the community. Last tihing I heard she was drugged out and possibly a hooker or maybe it was a stripper. Who knows if that's correct? Bottom line is the child was taken by a stranger!

Jessica Lunsofrd was abducted by a stranger and murdered. Her dad was suspect in the beginning. Everyone was sure he did it or that the grandparents had been neglectful. People still mention the dad and saying he should'nt have gone out on a date that night and he should've been home. Sheesh.

Coral Rose Fullwood was abducted and murdered by a stranger. Possibly more than one. Immediately the family was put on trial. Reports of child abuse and neglect. The children were taken away from the parents. There were reports of human feces on the walls of their home. The father had child porn on his computer. But! Bottom line it's a stranger who's awaiting trial in jail. No connection to the Fullwood's has been proved.

Trenton Duckett remains unsolved. His mom was blamed by the public and the press. She was never arrested. But, she committed suicide after Nancy Grace went after her. Trenton is still missing. Gee. So, losing a child and having to deal with the predators of the press can lead to suicide. Who knows? Maybe she was guilty of something. Sadly, because of the press, we'll never know. The police were unable to do their jobs.

Caylee Anthony. Who knows? I can't even begin to write about her case. But the mom's in jail. It took them a long time to get her in jail but she's there. Who knows what went on with the grandparents? Has the press distorted the facts or are the grandparents as whacked out as we've been led to believe?


Which leads us to Haleigh Cummings. And WE DON'T KNOW ANYTHING! IMO it's best to let the police do their jobs. The family IMO should shut up to the press, cooperate with the police and stay united. These reports about them pointing fingers and mentioning past transgressions is not good for them and it's not good for Haleigh.

God give them strength and courage. They have a long road ahead of them no matter what's found out.

I continue to keep the entire family (both sides) in my prayers.

added edit: I really need to send a thank you to the press who have handled our case. You truly on the most part have shown compassion towards us and you have helped us. Thank you for that.

Haleigh Cummings

It's difficult to write about this little girl.

I pray to God that this young child is safe. Another little girl missing.

What is it about Florida? Pilar Rodriguez, Carlie Brucia, Jessica Lunsford, Coral Rose Fullwood, Caylee Anthony, and I'm sure there are others that I'm missing.


In any case, it's hard to wrap my mind around this. I couldn't even read about Caylee Anthony.

And now Haleigh Cummings.

It all just hits too close to home. It brings back so many emotions.

I weep inside for this family and for this young child.

I weep inside for Denise.

I just don't understand. My brain simply can't take it in how terrible this world can be.

What are we animals?

Oh, Denise. If this child is with you, hold her tight and wrap your arms around her.