Thank you

It's been a while since I've blogged. I'm not sorry for that. My thoughts have been going every which way and much of them would not make much sense to most people. We wrote a letter to the local editors with a thank you but I need to write more. I wrote that letter out of a sense of duty laced with heartfelt gratitude but much was left unsaid.

You would think things would get easier now that the trial is over. Having the trial over is a major relief. We were very blessed and still are in so many ways.

1. The judge was so thorough. He crossed every t and dotted every i. He was determined that there should be no mistrial.
2. The prosecuting team was in a word awesome. I could listen to Lon Arend speak all day. His professionalism was exceptional. He never lost his cool and slowly and methodically presented the state's case against Michael King. His sensitivity was incredible. He had to present the horrific facts all the while knowing our family was sitting there and reliving the pain.
3. The defense team did their utmost and everything they could to save Michael King. And even though they irritated the hell out of me and listening to them was like nails running down a chalkboard, I was grateful they did all they could. Why? Because there will be less likelihood that this case gets overturned. It was that solid.
4. The jury, like the judge did all they could to cross every t and dot every i. They sat there in stoic silence listening and paying the closest attention to every that was said. They listened to Denise's tragedy with such strength. I commend them and thank them for performing their civic duty with such dignity.
5. Police Chief Lewis who sat their every day with the lead detective. Job well done. They too were as sensitive as possible. I was so moved.
6. And, of course, our family and friends. Oh crap. I'm tearring up thinking about them. My sister, Chris, who came in from Indiana... our friend, Kevin Willett from the 9-1-1 industry from California... Nancy and Kathy who were there everyday... Connie and Sherry from different chapters of Parents of Murdered Children. Dave Dignam who drove Nate back and forth everyday and kept Nate's nerves calm. Nathan could not ask for a better mentor and friend. Sean, Nate's best friend who came all the way from Minnesota. Mark's brother, Steve, who kept the home fires burning for us when we got home. Joan and Jackie who I know I would have been friends with even if this tragedy never happened. Tammy and Jeanine who are always there for us.
7. The King family, especially the brother who is raising King's son. I know this sounds odd but they treated our family with dignity and respect. I'm so saddened and heartbroken for them. They kept their distance and tried their best not to make us uncomfortable.
8. The press also treated our family with sensitivity, respect and dignity. The North Port Sun and the Sarasota Herald Tribune reporters were especially sensitive, yet, were able to retain their objectivity.
9. The hundreds of people we've never met who wrote letters and sent cards from not just across the country but from around the world. I could read and feel their pain. They were truly that touched by Denise's story. Total strangers....... It's humbling.
10. And, last but not least, Denise. Denise. Denise. Denise. The prosecution's best witness. Her bravery and courage. Her beauty and goodness shining through that horrific 9-1-1 call. Her presence everywhere. Oh, sweetie, you humbled that entire room all except for that one creep who showed no remorse. But, you did it, baby. He'll never hurt anyone else ever again.

I'm sure there's many people I'm forgetting. I did not mention Rick and Sue's friends and family. I'll leave that for them but I thank them, too.

As I said, it's all very humbling to be touched by so many people.

Thank you.

Parents of Murdered Children meeting missed

Last night I missed another Parents of Murdered Children meeting. I was going fairly regularly to these meetings and find them very beneficial. It's difficult to express how I feel about the other people in the support group. All are families who have lost someone close to them to homicide.

It's the one place where we can go and not feel uncomfortable talking about our grief. It's difficult talking about homicide grief. It's rare, at least in my family, that we talk about it amongst family and friends. Why? You'd think we'd want to talk about it. Well, for us it's because we don't want to cause our loved ones anymore pain than they are already feeling. Let's say one of us is having an okay day, maybe even a good day. Who would want to spoil that day by bringing up our own grief? It's just going to bring them down. It's not going to lift us up by sharing it. Also, once we start talking about it, instead of grief coming out, we all start getting angry. And anger is a major part of the grief. We're not angry at each other, we're angry at the situation. We feel cheated.

And then when we do see people that we haven't seen for a long time... I don't know. They start asking questions and we don't mind answering them. They want to know. They're interested. They care. But after a while of talking about it.... I just get ill. I don't know about other people.

At the POMC meetings the others don't look at you cross eyed when you start talking about that anger. They "get it". They feel the same anger. They don't mention the cliches. If you start blubbering, they know just what to say. And sometimes it's nothing. Some of the people there have been there for years. They are especially helpful because they can give at least a little direction if not much. We are all so different. But there's hope in seeing them there. I feel a sense of comfort having them there. Seeing that they are still sane and haven't gone bonkers. These people aren't going to say "don't dwell on it" "you have to move on" "think of the positives" "God has his reasons" "think of the grandchildren" etc....

That's a rich one. "Think of the grandchildren". As if we don't think of the grandchildren!

I just erased a whole paragraph. I was going to share some of the stories from other families but I had to remind myself they are not my stories to share.

All the stories are tragic. All the stories are heartbreaking. All the stories make you want to cry.

Anyhow, they meet on Wednesday nights. Unfortunately, Wednesdays are Nathan's days off. So, a lot of the foundation business is usually planned for Wednesdays. Last night I missed the meeting because Nathan was practicing his CalNENA keynote address. I wanted to hear it. I could've made the decision to go to the POMC meeting but I opted to listen to Nathan. It's a 45 minute speech and it will address some 600 people.

I missed the last meeting because Nathan had a foundation meeting. I could've opted for the POMC meeting but it's rare I get to go to foundation meetings. I'm usually watching the babies. So, I opted for Nathan's meeting.

I just got word this morning that the SW Florida POMC is going to have 2 meetings a month. One in Punta Gorda and the other in Fort Myers. So, hopefully I'll be able to attend one or the other.

I missed December's meeting. I forget why. I missed November's meeting (it was my birthday). I may even have missed October's meeting! I can't even remember. But, it's been months.

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