Monday, February 23, 2009

I can't blog about Haleigh Cummings anymore

I'm too overwhelmed in my own grief.

I felt I was making progress in my own grief. I was doing much better.

I don't know if it's the Haleigh Cummings story or going through the newspapers articles on Denise that have set me back. I think it's a combination.

I had already pretty much decided that I best not look at Haleigh news anymore. I still pray with all my heart they find her. But the stories about her family are breaking my heart. I don't understand why people hurt children. I can't wrap my mind around it.

Cutting out the newspaper articles on Denise hasn't helped. It just makes me miss Denise all the more. She was so wonderful.

And I barely knew her. She was so shy. I tried to draw her out and then I stopped. I thought "heck! We have years together. Why push her? We'll have holidays, baseball games, shopping and lunches! We have years ahead of us to forge a bond." So, I didn't push her. And it never happened. All I knew was that she was a great mommy and a wonderful wife to my son. We got along, we chatted but did we bond? Maybe some but not nearly as much as we could have.

I'm so so sorry, Denise. I hope I didn't let you down. I miss you, sweetheart.

Good news is you are saving lives. Nathan and Mark are out in San Diego. Nathan is to give his speech in the morning. I'm so so proud of him. You would be too. I love you, baby.