Thursday, January 15, 2009

Dear Denise,

I've been debating whether to post something tonight or not. Supposedly the anniversary is set for Saturday but we all know it was a Thursday night.

Please, just know, how very very much we miss you and love you. Please, just know that we're doing our best to get over the pain.

I don't know what that monster is thinking tonight. Does he even get it? It was just about this time a year ago that I was trying to settle Noah down for bed. We weren't sure where you were. We were still so hoping you were alive. My heart breaks just thinking about it.

But it's important for you to know that I'll never forget you and your bravery. I'll never forget your courage and your fight.

Your selflessness.

I'll never forget your soft voice and your smiles. Just about every memory I have of you, Denise, is of you smiling. Unless you were upset with Nate, it seemed as if you were always smiling. And most of the time even when you were upset with Nate you were still smiling!

I miss you, baby. Very Very much.

The babies are good. Noah is having a few issues but it could just be we're becoming more serious with the potty training! I know he misses you and thinks of you. I think the potty training reminds him of you.

Anyhow, sweetheart, I love you.

You were the best daughter-in-law ever. Or, at least, you aspired to be.

You were really quiet. You didn't know it, but we were going to work on that.


With love,


added edit: oh, sweetie! This is important. The other day, your picture popped up on the computer screen while I was showing someone an on-line tribute to you. Adam, who had been playing with his truck immediately jumped up and said very loudly "Mommy! Mommy!"

So, sweetheart, even Adam is remembering! I can't tell you, how that thrilled me. I didn't know! Nathan is doing (we all are) all we can to keep your memory alive, Denise! You were and still are that special.

Pretty soon, I'm gonna get back to the 9-1-1 issues. But right now, I want to remember you. I love you.