Friday, May 14, 2010


Today I was searching google. I do this almost on a daily basis. I really shouldn't do it, but I do. Why? I do not know. I search Denise's name usually just to see if anything new has been written.

But today I am sorry I did it. I searched Denise's name and audio. For some reason I wanted to see if it was possible to get access to her call. I really did not want to listen to it but I wanted to see if it was out there to be found.

There have been so many news stories that I have missed. Hence my previous post. As I came across the newstories I came across some of the stories I had missed. Stories that were aired during King's trial. Remember I was a zombie during her trial and fairly traumatized already. Anyhow, I did indeed find her call. It was played on FoxNews. I was appalled.

I started to listen to it and got through about 60 seconds of it.

Oh sweet beautiful baby....... I am still horrified thinking of how you suffered. Oh sweetheart.....

People really do no not understand "drama". There are so many people out there that create their own "drama" for whatever reasons. I despise those people. They look for "drama" and have no clue as to what true "drama" is.

In any case, no matter how I suffer listening to Denise's call it does not compare one iota to what Denise suffered.

I feel sick.

We have taken "alot of arrows" in the past several weeks. The foundation and my family have been criticized for whatever reasons. Would I like to shoot arrows back? Damn right I would. But I will not.

So many people just do not understand what it is like watching our son struggle, suffer and try to salvage his own shattered life. People criticize him. And all he is doing is trying to survive. Also, I realize these people truly do not understand and hopefully NEVER will. Because if they do come to understand that will mean they will have suffered a loss in truly horrifying fashion. Some members of our own family have shot arrows. And if our own family sometimes does not get it, how can we expect others to?

People say "move on"...... well, it is not so easy. We have been given an opportunity to help the world become a better place. We have met some truly wonderful, amazing and inspirationally truly good people. We truly do not ever want to see a family suffer in this way again.

We cannot bring Denise back. But the way she fought, the way she loved and the way she lived is all the reason we need to keep her memory and spirit alive.

I will live every day of my life remembering Denise and what a selfless person she was. She IMO is a saint.

Dear Denise, please, help Nathan in anyway you can. Talk to some people up there. Talk to God if he exists. Guide him, give him strength and courage, and please, show him the way.