Sunday, January 11, 2009

A Special Thank You to Steve and Deborah Lee

Dear Steve and Deborah,

I know this letter is late in coming. Almost a year late. I apologize for that. But in remembering the past year, one of the things Mark and I appreciate most was your support in the days and weeks following Denise's death.

Knowing that during our own horrific tragedy you had your other tragedy at basically the same time.

For people who don't know, Deborah (our sister-in-law) lost her beloved nephew, Adam, a year ago today. He was a senior and on the Dean's List at the University of Connecticut. Yes, Deborah lost her beloved nephew and then less than a week later, Steve (Mark's brother) lost his beloved niece, our Denise. Both died very untimely and tragic deaths.

Both young, bright, and nice (IMO) kids just starting out in life.

As a matter of fact, Adam passed away the Friday before we lost Denise. We lost Denise the following Thursday.

I remember calling Steve on his cell during my mad dash out to Nathan and Denise's house. I didn't know who to call. I called Steve first. I called Steve before I even called my own family. Tragically, he was just picking up Deborah from the airport following Adam's (her nephews) funeral.

deep breath.

On to the thank you. Steve and Deborah were wonderful to us throughout. Bringing food etc... You could see Deborah was almost shell-shocked. As I mentioned before it was a double whammy for them. I was too numb to be much, if any, support to Deborah. And I'm sorry for that.

What I want to thank Steve and Deborah the most for isn't just all the love and support they bestowed on us but they truly did a wonderfully selfless act. They were the ones who helped Mark and went into that (I can barely type it) house on Latour where Nate and Denise had lived and they cleaned up the crime scene. I never went back to that house. To this day I haven't been back there. I don't know if any of you have ever cleaned up a crime scene but apparently according to Deb, there's black dust everywhere because of the dusting for finger prints. And she described things thrown this way and that. Everything was rifled through. She didn't mention blood so I don't know if there was any. But they delicated washed, and cleaned all the laundry, boxed all the dishes, took stuff to the drycleaners and went through that house, cabinet by cabinet, closet by closet and drawer by drawer. They washed all the baby clothes. It had to been excruciatingly painful for them. Especially while experiencing the double whammy of grief. And the shock. Having just lost Adam too.

Dear Steve and Deb, we'll never forget what you did for us. We probably don't know all that you did. There's probably much more to the story than we know. That's the kind of people you are. It was a genuinely selfless act of love and I want you and the world to know how very very much we appreciate what you did.

Also I want you to know that I'm thinking of Adam and Bobbie and of course you and your entire family today. I send much love and many many prayers.

This blog doesn't nearly and could never express the love we feel for you.